What do you when you are stressed?

I'm not sure if you can tell but since I started this blog in 2003, I've had some major battles with stress. I am thankful to God that I won each one and each year, I continue to learn how to manage stress well so it doesn't manage me.

The other day, I was mapping a running route for my running group. My mind told me "I'm under stress." I quickly told my mind: "NOPE! Stress is under me."

Here are six ways to stay in control when you are navigating stress:

1. Recognize you are stressed - denial will not help you at all. I learned that accepting the feeling of stress is actually good. Denial only delays the process of management. I accept that I am stress by greeting it. Once I say, "Oh, hey. I see you." I immediately move on to the next step.

2. Identify the source of stress - This requires asking myself some leading questions. What is concerning me? Why do I feel these feelings? Writing helps. Thinking about it helps. I don't dwell in this step too long. Identification is followed by action. There's no need to identify the source of stress just to stop there. Let's move to the next step with confidence.

3. Pray about the situation - God wants to hear about the source of your stress. He has the right solution for your burden. Talk to Him. Cry if you feel tears are coming. He will give you beauty for ashes at the end of it all. That's the kind of God He is: wonderful.

4. Talk about the situation - Chances are, you know the right person who can handle your stressful situation. They will listen attentively. They will offer advice if you ask for it. They will be supportive and they won't gossip about your stuff. Let me remind you that Facebook is not that person. You need a real human being who can be trusted with your troubles.

5. Find intentional relaxation moments - Last year, I majored in finding intentional relaxation moments. I found these moments to be very helpful because they helped me manage the side-effects of stress. These moments have to work for your personality. What is relaxing for me might not be relaxing for you. I encourage you to make a list. Some items on my list are a manicure, bubble bath, and a long walk.

6. Seek professional help - I believe in seeing a Christian counselor during stressful times - as well as regular times in life. I find counseling effective in giving me the tools to fight and win this battle with stress. I always leave feeling better than I came in. I become aware of my power, not the lack of it. Come to think of it, that's what stress does to me: makes me aware of my lack of power. When I seek professional help, I become aware that I am a victor, not a victim.


What do you do when you are stressed my friend? Here is what I know for sure: you can win. You can overcome and you will rise stronger. God's for you, no doubt!

Read More

Helicopter Ride

If you could be on a helicopter and look at your life from up there, what would you see?
Our perspectives change when we look at things from different angles.

That thing that bothers you may be small stuff compared to the important things in life.
That hard conversation you need to have may need to happen, no matter how anxious it makes you.

Perspective comes in different ways. In every circumstance, it requires the opening of our heart.
A different perspective may come from a wise friend who loves you. It may come from a counselor who wants to see you well. It may even come from children, who know instinctively what matters most in life: love.

When you begin to struggle with things big and small, remember to imagine yourself in that helicopter ride. What do you see from up there? 

Read More

6 years of Houston: Adapting to a new Community

Moving to a new community can be challenging unless you understand it involves a three-step process including Transition, Adaptation and Discovery. I believe the first two steps are challenging but they are a necessary in order for Discovery to happen. Transition is the between space where you not where you need to be just yet. Transition is difficult, painful and it can be isolating. Once you arrive at your new destination, Adaptation takes place. Observation and learning go hand in hand as you become familiar with your new normal. The ties with your old space are still strong but you learn to let go of the old to welcome the new. Discovery is that joyous space where you learn about all the good stuff that was waiting for you while you were transitioning. I wish we all could shorten the stages that leads us to Discovery but everyone experiences the three-step process differently.

My family and I have experienced this process in the last 6 years. Two years ago I wrote that “having a church home and finding community are two different things.” The lesson in this statement has made my journey rich as I find myself in transition again.

We moved to Houston because of my husband’s job who happens to be at a church. I can say the experience was not new. When I finished my Masters Degree, I moved to a new place and I started looking for a church home. I must have visited a handful of places when I landed at the place God had prepared for me. Finding that church was a different experience than finding community. Community is a large body of people living in an area. The church exists in the community. Finding community during that time meant meeting people outside of church. That’s when I found bloggers, artists and all kinds of friends who were not part of my church.

My husband’s job happened to be at a church so finding a church home was a no-brainer when we moved to Texas. I thought that church and community were the same thing but I started to suffer because I only saw my church family twice a week. I needed friendship during the other 5 days of the week. I started to see community as an important place to be explored and nurtured.

I learned that most of my church friends were working moms while I was a stay-at-home mom. I put some effort into looking to my community to supply me with moms who had the same schedule as myself. I looked to my community for blogger friends, I also found my marathon training group besides other connections. If you have been in church since you were a fetus (that's me folks), it's hard to believe that there are great people outside of the church. I'm here to tell you there are excellent folks out there.

I found community and the community has nurtured me in many ways. I learned that a church home cannot supply all of my social needs. Life is more compelling when I stop expecting the church to be my everything and I welcome community as part of my life.

My Lord and Savior functioned the same way. I choose to think that He could have chosen to stay in the synagogue all day every day but He went around doing good. In order to go around, one must move out of where they are. That’s what I have chosen to do for the past 6 years.

I told you that Transition can feel isolating and I had the temptation to cave in to that feeling. I remember falling asleep looking at Pinterest, who was a close friend of mine for a good 4 months. Once I found community I had actual people to talk to during the day, playdates and blogger meetups to attend. It is tempting to stick with digital friendships when you feel isolated but having real people to talk to brings refreshment. The key is to keep pursuing community.

I have learned that community does not discriminate between introverts and extroverts. Please don’t use your personality as an excuse not to reach out. You are welcome just as you are somewhere.

Life is richer when you understand that having a church home and finding community are two different things. You become a better person when you press on, despite the challenges of the three-step process, and find yourself with a home church while deeply rooted in community.

More in this Series:

• 5 years of Houston: stuff I can say

• 4 years of Houston: reflections of a pastor’s wife

• 3 years of Houston: how my roots grew deep

• Pastor’s wife - purpose and security

• Hope during transition

• Transition and the dorm room

• Transitioning from SAHM to Working Mom

• Isolation

• While I wait: do something

• While I wait: finding balance

Read More

5 foods that helped me lose 44 Pounds

I didn't have a personal trainer nor did I follow a diet. Thank God I was still able to lose  44 pounds the old fashion way. Today I wanted to tell you about 5 foods from the traditional food groups that I eat on a regular basis. Food was part of a winning combination of education, mind renewal, behavior modification,  stress management and flexibility which resulted in weight loss. Here's my list:

Real Food rocks!

5 • Banana - I buy a lot of bananas for our family. I like the way they taste and they are my go to food before my runs. It turns out they are also packed with B6 and vitamin C. Read about other benefits of Bananas here.
4 • Cabbage - I got in the habit of buying them because they are really cheap and they make a great basis for my vegetable soup. I started doing this 2 years ago and it just works for me. Most of the soup is cabbage and the rest is either mixed veggies, beans or whatever else we have. Cabbage has a lot of vitamin K and vitamin C. You can read about other cabbage benefits here.
3 • Black Beans - a Brazilian staple, these Beans have a winning protein/fiber ratio. We eat Black Beans most days at our house, I only stay away from it when I'm expecting. I guess my stomach couldn't take it for some reason. I add it to soups, we eat it with rice and we occasionally make Black Bean burgers my husband loves. Read about the benefits of Black Beans here.
2 • Almond Milk - I was very sensitive to dairy during my pregnancy so Almond Milk was my main source of dairy. I use it as coffee creamer because is super low in calories. I also drink dark chocolate almond milk as a recovery drink after running. Here are other benefits of Almonds here
1 • Oatmeal - I didn't grow up eating oatmeal but I acquired this great habit almost 7 years ago. The kids and I love it for breakfast and honestly for snacks too. It' is super filling if you don't want to be hungry in the morning. I almost never use instant oatmeal because I don't like the taste of it or the amount of sugar. I cook it fresh and we enjoy it most days of the week. Learn about the benefits of oats here.

I am thankful that God is such genius and created fresh food. I am aware that it is a lot of work to cook fresh food but oh the benefits! I feel better overall when I enjoy fresh fruits and vegetables. This past year I also enjoyed cakes, pies, sweet tea, chips, etc but on a very limited basis. Our family eats pizza once a week for dinner and I was still able to lose the weight. My point is to find the best quality foods for my body allowing myself the occasional treat.

I hope you enjoyed my list! What are some of the foods that helps your health journey?

Video Series:
• My Weight Loss in 60 Seconds (Complete Video Archives)

Read More

Gyms: the Lure of the New and Old

Me after a workout in the old gym.

Our family sees our gym membership as health investment. How much money you put into this investment is a matter of consumer savvy. Meet SouthWest Houston, a place that houses around 650 gyms. Our family decided to join a family friendly location. I was expecting our third child when we joined that facility and we have been frequent users. We were quite happy but every now and then we heard about the new, "jumping" gym in town. They had awesome facilities, great classes, the childcare was impecable and the rates, really low. We thought about switching but our contract didn't make it easy. Also, I was expecting and breaking a contract was the last thing in our minds. 

After we had a little over 1 year on our pocket and a baby who's crawling and doing her best to become a toddler (smile), we decided to give the competition a try. It was the perfect day: their last day of their Zero Down promotion which meant $550 dollars in savings. I signed the contract, my husband congratulated me. 

Reality set when I went to the new gym for the first time: the parking was awful. To make matters worse, there is road construction all around it, which will make the commute even worse. The new gym is 10 times larger than our old gym. I must confess, I was overwhelmed with the amount of people. I hid in the 'women's only' workout room but found out that if I wanted to do my usual resistance training (the least amount of weights I lift start at 15 lbs) I needed to take a 2 minute walk to the weights region of the gym. I was excited about the diversity of people who were working out. The next day I went to the old gym to break the news. It turns out they had some great news for me: I qualified for 40% off our current membership fee. I thought about the great parking. I remembered their childcare is awesome and people have grown to love our kids there. I thought about how inspiring my gym buddies are: they're at least double my age, healthy and very consistent with their fitness plans. The old gym also has some amenities that the other location does not offer such as a pool, free wifi and the occasional free 5-minute free back massage in the lobby.  I talked to my husband and we decided to stay. 

I thank God for giving us favor and helping us save on our membership while staying in the gym we  really enjoy. I learned that the location is not as important as what you do while you're there. I am personally inspired by my early morning workout buddies who have lived a full life and are practicing healthy living methods which leads them to abundant longevity. We decided to stay in the old gym. By the way, that individual TV screen in the cardio machines didn't hurt my decision at all. 

Photo of me after a run in the park.

QUESTION: What are the things you really enjoy about the place where you exercise?

Read More

Role Models, New and Improved

Who can be defined as a Role Model? Many people can fit in this wonderful category.  I try to only label people who in my opinion, fit the following categories:

• De Facto - Role Models are real people who live real lives. They are touchable. You can call them and ask them what kind of day they are having. They will tell you about their hardships and triumphs. They will be able to give you wisdom because they are living solid lives. 

• Reputation - they are honorable. They are honest. Fame didn't give them these attributes but the very lives they lived in front of others. They chose to do the right thing, they learned from their mistakes and their character is the aggregate of living a genuine life.  

• Imperfect - real Role Models don't hide their flaws because being deficient in an area makes them even more authentic. These flaws also make them sensible to others. Their flaws give them compassion and remind them of their humanity. There is something to be said about a person who does not hide their flaws but chooses to live without masks, always seeking to mature and grow.

• Conquerors - they have won battles and defeated enemies. Whether it was a battle to gain self-discipline or a fight to provide for their families, real Role Models have honorable scars. Simply gaining fame does not mean you are a victor. Conquerors are those who have chosen to fight the good fight of faith. They set themselves apart to fight and overcome at the end.

QUESTION: Can you think of someone who fits in these 3 categories?

Read More

Pastor's Wife: Purpose & Security

I become a Pastor’s wife around 7 years ago. I was blessed to grow up watching a virtuous pastor’s wife (my mom) which has given me a healthy perspective of that role. The interesting thing about being a pastor’s wife is that most people seem to have an opinion on how I should behave. I have learned that it is important to establish a foundation of security as well as a sense of purpose in my life, otherwise the outside pressure can be overwhelming.

My mother has always been a great example for me in this area of life. She was not worried about fitting in for her heart was to serve God. She always had a strong sense of purpose which drove her to work and make an amazing contribution to the ministries she was a part of. A strong sense of purpose helps you navigate the different seasons of ministry, whether you are really hands-on with daily activities or you play more of a supportive role. Have you asked yourself what is your purpose as a pastor’s wife?

The reality is that most ministries do not have a handbook written for the Pastor’s wife, thus I often ask what are the expectations of that particular church leadership. I really came to grips with this after getting professional counseling. I realized that I never signed a contract with the church but I do have a covenant with my husband. I’m his wife and that comes before anyone’s expectation of what my role as a pastor’s wife should be. This has developed an amazing sense of security in my life. It is a joy to know that I am God’s child and Zeke’s wife. My covenant is well established and secure.

Being a pastor’s wife is a unique experience because there isn’t a manual or a script written out there that I can read. It is important that I am secure and I have a strong sense of purpose so that God can be glorified and my husband can feel honored in all I do. I learned it is important that what Zeke thinks comes before what everyone else thinks.

Establishing this foundation of security and having purpose gets me out of the so called “fish tank mindset." I realize that people have a tendency to watch those in leadership closely but I know that people were also observing my habits 14 years ago when I was a single woman in college. I don’t believe I became more noticeable because I’m a pastor’s wife for people look for fruit in your life all the time. I refuse to feel restrained in any way with this mindset so I decided to be free from pressure and live in community. Christ never said that some members of His body have more prominence than others (I Corinthians 12:12-27). He’s called us to be all united in love.

I have found a lot of freedom knowing who I am in Christ and in what I have been called to do this season. My prayer is that every Pastor’s wife finds security and purpose so they can serve God, their families and others to the best of their ability. By the way, if you see a Pastor's wife this week, give her a big hug and affirm her. It will really bless her!

Read More

Pregnancy: Body Acceptance

I cannot deny, it's been interesting remembering my previous pregnancies through pictures. Thanks to my constant picture taking and the wonderful world of blogging, I've been able to have a great record of what week 36 of pregnancy looked like in years past:

Whether I like it or not, a lot of focus is put on the body during pregnancy. Here's God's perspective on the subject:

You were bought for a price. So bring glory to God in the way you use your body.  I Corinthians 6:20 (God's Word Translation)

I never thought about this verse in the context of pregnancy until last week. This Bible verse reminds me that although I've been carrying my baby girl for 36 weeks, my body is really meant to bring honor to God even in this season.
I realized that although I take good care of my body during pregnancy, I'm also tempted to complain about the side effects pregnancy brings. All the aches and changes are not fun but some complaints are deep seated in the rejection of self.
Look at my photo illustration once again. During my first pregnancy I thought I had a great handle on the situation and I was happy with the way I looked for the most part. In 2010 I refused to put my face in my pregnancy photos for things changed drastically inside and out. I didn't like the way I looked, I was 'too big' for people to see the real me. As soon as I had my daughter "a light came on" and I realized being ashamed of myself wasn't healthy. This time around I am showing me for who I am in every photo. It took me 3 pregnancies but I know this is a season of life and I am bringing glory to God by taking care of my body. Being unashamed of what I look like brings glory to God because it says 'I appreciate how You made me." I now know that hiding my face or only taking photos in certain angles can only mask what the heart doesn't cease to carry: shame. I wonder if shame is separating you from glorifying God with your body my friend.
Here are ways to stop the struggle & become more accepting of who you are:
• Watch Your Words - there is power in your words. If you are truly negative about your appearance, things are not gonna get better. Change the way you speak about yourself. For example, I used daily positive affirmations about running many years before I ran my first 5K. Hearing positive things about myself were the starting point to unlocking my ability to change for the better.

• Make a Habit of Caring for your Body - small steps towards caring for yourself will lead you to greater accomplishments. It might start with drinking more water every day or walking once a week. Building good habits, one baby step at the time, makes a big difference long term. Employing the help of others is part of caring for your body too. Signing up for counseling for example is a great way to care for yourself.

• Understand the Seasons of Life - my previous women's ministry pastor opened my eyes to the fact that during a woman's life, her weight will go up and down. Pregnant women do gain weight. Once I accepted that weight loss season was over for 9 months, things got much better. My focus went from the numbers on the scale to non-scale victories such as getting more rest, adding more nutrients to my diet and finding enjoyment in exercising during pregnancy. I know that the weight will come off during the next season.

My hope is that you and I don't be ashamed of what we look like. It might be a process or it may take a revelation but I pray that eventually our body issues will turn into the glorious act of bringing glory to God in the way we use our bodies.
Related Posts:
• Pregnancy: Body Issues
• Life After Baby: Weight Loss Progression
• Podcast: Counseling Demystified

Read More

When Reality and Humor Meet

I had brilliant plans for my son's birthday. The invitations were sent, friends confirmed their presence and then, life happened. I found myself at home the day before the party with a to-do list and a sick husband. As we sang happy birthday my husband didn't feel any better so I took him to the ER that evening. He had a virus so we cancelled the party. Because LP's birthday cake (tres leches) was ready, I decided to take it to church and celebrate with his class. In my mind we'd have a pretty good crowd of 35 people but instead there were 10 people there at the time of this photo:

Real b-day party photo: kids looking lost, mom smiling.

Friends, my son's birthday was yet another lesson on flexibility when things don't go as planned. I had to ask myself, 'what's really important?' My husband's health is a priority, as well as making sure we celebrated my son's birthday. Believe it or not, the only thing the little boy had been asking for was 'aveia' (oatmeal). He got his aveia on his birthday, a family party as well as plenty time outside playing. He never noticed we had to cancel our celebration. His perspective is simpler than mine and I dare to say, richer.

God did give me the desires of my heart. My husband is feeling much better, I got to run a 5K that weekend (watch the video here) and I got to take this photo:

Official Birthday Picture

Having a family photo in front of the birthday cake is a big deal for me and God knows that. If the weekend couldn't get any more interesting, the baker misspelled his name on the cake. My first reaction was, 'good thing ain't nobody coming to the house so they won't see this.' My second reaction was, 'wait a minute, I can't have my son look at this cake 30 years from now and ask who is the boy we were celebrating.' I went to the church's kitchen, scraped the first letter with a knife and got a hold of the catchup so I got this:

yeah, that's ketchup but his name was spelled correctly

I know I ain't in control of the major events that happened that weekend but I felt I could manage the spelling of his name. When Reality and Humor met I was left thinking that after all was said and done I was only in control of my attitude.

My prayer is that God will continue to help me get on board with His plan, which is always better than mine (misspellings considered).

• Do you have problems accepting God's plan for your life? Please share.

Read More

The Reasons Why

The reason why I don't celebrate Halloween is simple: I didn't grow up celebrating it, thus it makes no sense to do it now as an adult. Growing up in Brazil, Halloween was seen as more of an American holiday. By Middle School I noticed that my friends were going to the club to celebrate the date. We also didn't call the date by its American name, we translate it to 'Witches Day.' As a Christian woman it made no sense to celebrate witches because I don't believe in them. You also have to understand the personal impact that this date had to our family. Before accepting Jesus, my father's family was involved in a religion that used witchcraft. Some of my distant relatives on that side of the family are still practicing it. Once Jesus came into our lives, my family left anything that had the resemblance of the old life. Everything became new. 

I know I'm in a new culture where most people celebrate Halloween for candy and for dress up purposes. I also don't (want to) represent every Christian mother out there. I know plenty moms love the date and celebrate it. It's important to do what your Christian conscience tells you to do.

I believe it's important to accept people no matter what their beliefs are. I have friends who don't believe in Easter but totally respect the fact that I celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. I want to respect those who love and celebrate Halloween the same way. So whatever your reasons, enjoy your Sunday and be safe!

Read More

Stretching Reality

I didn't get stretch marks til the very, very end of my first pregnancy. I was so surprised to see them cause the nurses in the clinic kept complimenting me for not having them. Well, this time around I'm starting and finishing the journey with them. 

It may seem silly but the first thought I had when I saw that population of stretch marks on my belly was 'I will never be able to wear a two piece again!' I had accomplished that dream when I was in Florida for a summer internship. I was in shape so I gave the two piece thing a try. I'm glad I have pictures to prove I was once able to do it. Oh, I also got a mean tan. Yes, Black people like me can tan. I prefer the beach to a booth tough. 

At this point you are probably thinking: 'stretch marks don't matter, what matters is the healthy baby' and I know all that to be true. The fact is, if you have them, chances are you don't love them. I asked my doctor about stretch mark creams and he told me 'those creams do not work.' True enough. I still kept using them just because my skin was extra dry in the winter. The stretch mark deal doesn't bother me so much that I'd spend thousands of dollars in treatment. 

Putting things in perspective, the healthy baby is the most important thing about  pregnancy, not the fact that I can have a photo with my children next to me on the beach and the girls are all wearing bikinis. Some things in life are inevitable and stretch marks during pregnancy are it for me. I'm glad I have a husband who loves me for who I am. I am glad my children can care less about the marks I carry in my body. They love me for me. 

I am starting to think that instead of depressing symbols of what I can't do, they should be badges I wear with pride. I paid the price to carry new life into the world and there is nothing wrong with looking normal. There's an extra person I am growing inside of me so I dare not look the same. Good for you, you NEVER get to see them :)

I commit to look in the mirror and think: someone special has been formed in your womb and your whole body stretched to accommodate new life, new hopes, possibilities and dreams. 

• How many of us want the good stuff in life but refuse to go through the stretching process that will bring out the new?

Read More

Body Talk

I try my best to stay away from message boards on pregnancy and motherhood. Why? I can't really relate to everyone's opinions there. People are also viciously negative when you aren't joining the complaining about side effects and realities of pregnancy. Having a unique, happy pregnancy is not popular, trust me.

One of the comments you hear the most is 'I want my body back.' That sounds crazy to me, no matter how many times I hear it. I wrote about 'body awareness' before getting pregnant and I have been inspired to do the same once again. This was my comment before getting pregnant:

"This week I decided that I might as well develop a great love for my body because I don't get to change it for another one while living here on earth." - read the whole Body Awareness post here

This is what I know for sure:

1 Corinthians 6:19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;"

1 Corinthians 6:20 "you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

So, my body is not my own and I am to honor God with my body. How can I get back something that's not mine to begin with?

As a pregnant mom to be, I have the same opinion: I was given one body when God formed me in my mother's womb. It's amazing how my body changes from an infant to adult. The only thing I can't get (not event with plastic surgery) is a new body. Most of it will be the same thing God meant to give me.

I find it easier to accept my body, no matter what phase I'm in. What do I mean by accept? I'm carrying a son. I accept my stomach grows, organs are rearranged and I can't run 5 miles as I did before. Once I give birth and recover, I will get back to running. I don't think we should accept unhealthy habits, I believe we should be thankful for the wonderful gift of God and learn how to take great care of it.

This is not the deepest post I've published but it's truthful. Let's all stop complaining about stuff that makes no sense and enjoy where we are on the way to where we are going. There's beauty in accepting God's gift to you. There's virtue in taking care of yourself body, mind and soul. There's peace in contentment.

Read More

The Root Cause for Weight Gain

“We’ve come a long way” is the title of a song a lady used to sing in my previous church. This title can describe my health journey. Thank God we’ve come a long way and we are more than conquerors!
This lovely weekend I took the time to look at the binder where I keep all of my articles, worksheets and other things I used on my weight management class and visits with a health educator.
It seems that a year ago I had problems eating a variety of foods and vegetables. I’m glad to announce this is not a problem anymore. By writing down a menu for the week as well as being drawn into different fruits and vegetables in the store, we have cut this problem down.
I also saw that I had tons of problems with stress. The Lord has blessed me with more knowledge as well as experience in this area that may affect life. Christians are to pursue peace, seek after it. I thought it was something that fell from the sky. Either I reduce or totally eliminate stress in healthy ways. Glory be to God for this lesson.
I’ve learned a lot. Most of the focus this past year is not on food. I think that was actually what hurt be in my 10 attempts to lose weight. Too much focus on food. When I have relationship problems I tend to walk to the kitchen. One time I stopped myself and said ‘what are you doing? You’re not even hungry!’ does this work every time? No. But thank God the awareness that food is not the solution is there.
I am aware that there is a danger in keeping total focus on food or exercise only. Stress may be the root cause for weight gain (I’ve written about developing a healthy root system here). Anxiety may be the cause for weight gain. Health problems may cause it. The holiday season gets blamed a lot for weight gain. Let me challenge you with the following: sometimes we try to eat our way out of boredom, awkwardness or avoidance when surrounded by family memories and old memories of the past.
An inanimate food (we hope the turkey will be completely dead on Thanksgiving LOL) does not call your name saying “Cintia! Eat me baby! You know you want my delicious thigh!” We are the ones drawn to illicit amounts of apple pie because the high given by sugar is supposed to numb the pain of rejection, not feeling accepted, not feeling supported or loved.
Stop accepting the lie and seek the truth. I had to seek the Truth and Jesus set me free. I didn’t like myself. I ate through anxiety, uncertainty, stress and you name it. My late night visits to Arby’s did help me gain the pounds but the root cause for weight gain wasn’t their grilled chicken combo with jalapeno poppers and sweet tea.
I’ve come a long way. God has held my hand and brought me this far by faith. I’m not the same person. God changed my mind first and it took at least 2 years for this to happen. It wasn’t until last year, after my mind was renewed to love the God kind of love that I was able to start my physical transformation.
It started on the mind. I no longer look in the mirror and see a fat woman. I see the righteousness of God in Christ, I see a beloved, beautiful daughter of God who has a purpose and an awesome destiny looking back at me.
It’s not all about food or a number of pounds. I’ve come a long way, leaning on the Lord because He is my source. I want to challenge you to pray for revelation of your root cause for weight gain.
Remember that God is ready to bring change in your life because He loves you for who you are.

Read More

Honesty is Good for the Soul

Faking is a lot of work. It’s easier to be real but why do we cover up stuff? I’ve been thinking about this issue lately. When I was in college I used to dress up more when I was sick so no one would know how I was feeling. Now I know that’s sick but I used to pride myself in that.

I was a good faker who used to fake different things here and there, especially after I came to the American culture. My husband said that we should take who we are and our Christian environment with us to other places and people. After all, Jesus said we are salt and light.

I understand it’s not good to spill my guts to everyone everywhere. It is good to find honesty and stick with it.

Because I’m just responsible for me, there are many levels where I can be more honest:

The Food Journal. I write 98 percent of the things I eat, which means I can write 100 percent. You guessed right, I don’t write the exact amount of the extra corn break I eat sometimes. I’ll get there people!

Acquaintances. I can speak the truth in love and let people know I don’t like crafts, so they might not want me anywhere close to their scrap booking parties. I used to lie about musical likes as well. I have decided no longer to lie: I can stand bluegrass for 5 minutes only. I might change my mind later on in life but that’s who I am right now.

Friends. I can tell them I’m a vegetarian so they won’t feel bad when I eat everything but the meat they cooked for dinner. I struggle with guilt for being too demanding (because I don’t eat meat) but there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and we are to operate in love and truth.

Family. I can stand up for myself – ahead of time – and say that I have changed my lifestyle, so I won’t be eating fat back, turkey and pork during the holidays. I can also offer to bring some veggies with me when I come – even if I’m the only one who will eat it. We walk in love and we speak in love.

Myself. I can speak the word of God and encourage myself in whom God made me to be. I’m not Martha Stewart. My house might never be in the cover of House Beautiful magazine (unless I hire one of their designers). I’m not Jada Pinkett-Smith. God has a body size for me and I will get there with His help. I’m not Kimora Lee Simmons. I don’t need all kinds of fabulous material things in order to survive. I’m so incredibly loved by God and I appreciate my life. I appreciate those around me who have loved me for the good and bad. I appreciate being loved with no expectations. In an imperfect world I choose to be simply Cintia, the woman created and designed by God for His glory.

Because we're in the subject of honesty, I honestly won't have time to write anything else this week. Talk to you next week.

Read More

Engordar e mais Dificil que Emagrecer

Quase todo mundo concorda que emagrecer e mais dificil do que engordar. Eu acho que engordar e mais dificil que emagrecer. E mais dificil porque vc perde muita roupa. Vc ganha varios problemas de saude. Vc gasta mais dinheiro com comidas que nao sao necessarias pra boa nutricao. E dificil por causa do racismo contra pessoas obesas e finalmente, e dificil por causa dos problemas psicologicos que vc adquire (complexo de inferioridade, etc).

Quando vc decide que vai viver uma vida mais saudavel, voce adota um novo estilo de vida. E como se sua vida fosse um quarto baguncado que vc limpa. Quando voce tem um quarto totalmente sujo na sua casa, voce arruma o quarto, tira a bagunca toda pra fora e arruma tudo. Se vc for experta, vc vai tentar nao acumular mais entulho naquele quarto. Quando eu tenho que fazer faxina em lugares dificieis, eu jogo tudo o que nao e necessario fora ou faco uma doacao. Eu nao pode fico com pena das coisas que joguei fora ou doei porque essas mesmas coisas estavam me atrapalhando e fazendo minha casa baguncada.

A escolha e sua: guardar bagulho ou limpar o seu quarto e usar pra algo agradavel, como por exemplo, um escritorio onde vc pode escrever ou comecar o seu negocio. E se esse quarto baguncado fosse sua vida?

Minha vida ja foi como um quarto que parecia estar arrumado mas era so abrir os armarios pra descobrir um monte de entulho. Jesus me limpou completamente de complexos por causa do meu peso e aparencia. A escolha foi minha de jogar os entulhos fora (entulhos sao palavras negativas, maus habitos, pensamentos negativos, etc). O desafio e de nao colocar novos ou velhos entulhos de volta no meu quarto.

A nossa vida e como se fosse uma casa. Voce pode perder peso e melhorar a sua aparencia, mas o que vc encontra quando abre as portas de todos os quartos? Sera que sua casa esta entulhada com amargura, rangor, raiva, dores por causa de abusos do passado, complexo de inferioridade? Deixe Jesus limpar a sua casa. Ele faz um trabalho que nenhuma dieta pode fazer. Dietas nao resolvem os problemas do coracao. Dietas nao te ajudam com a sua mente. So Jesus pode te livrar dos entulhos que estao te atrapalhando de viver uma vida bela e feliz. Pense nisso.

* O ultimo post da minha mae me inspirou a escrever sobre isso. Obrigada mae!

Read More

Change: Engaging gradually & courageously

Most of us need to change something in our lives. Change is the anchor on your weight loss journey.
I’ve been listening to messages on change for the past few weeks – some of them are still online. Here’s some of the quotes that stayed with me and my thoughts about them:

“Change is not defined or confined by time.”
Time makes weight loss a seasonal thing for most people. I hear that if you just do it for a season, you’ll probably gain your weight back. That happened to me several times.
I’ve never been strict with deadlines to lose weight but like everyone else, I look forward to seeing results quickly. I have learned about two crucial choices when it comes to time:
1. I can compare my own unique journey with someone else’s and feel horrible because I haven’t lost weight as quickly as they have;
2. I can focus on the plan God has for me and not be confined or defined by time.

How do I do that? Look at the sign of the times in your own life. For Cintia, right now is time to get my health and strength built up for health, work and family life with my wonderful husband.
One day will come a time to have my health and strength built up for motherhood. For you, it may be a time to be healthy to launch a business or to get more stamina. It may be a time to relax and nourish your baby while pregnant. It’s amazing how health has a function in all seasons of life. Just to put a shameless plug out there, my mother is specializing in nutrition during the later years in life (50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s). We can always feel better and it goes way beyond looks. What’s the sign of the times in your life?

My change is not defined by the media. My mirror is the Word of God, not the women on Desperate House Wives, not the most popular actress out there. How does change define your own weight loss journey? Do media images play a part in your change? Why?

“Decision is the open door into reality.”
Every change comes out of a decision. What caused your decision is different from what caused mine. The common thing for all of us is that once you make that decision, you are faced with reality.
My reality during my weight loss journey is this: I’m working on eating healthy but the world around me is not. There’s always cake and punch during all staff meetings. Every week there are treats at work. Most functions I go to are not vegetarian friendly. What am I to do in the midst of reality? Stick with my decision to be healthy with the help of God. Through Christ I can do all things.

“Quality decisions open doors to change.”
There’s a clear difference between decisions and quality decisions. In the 1996 I made the decision I was tired of being the fat girl. I lost the weight and gained it right back again. In 2006 I made the decision to live a healthy, whole life through Christ forever. The second decision, 10 years later, was the quality decision. Every time I decided to lose weight for looks was a decision. I did experience temporary change. The time I went to God for His plan for me, I was able to make a quality decision which opened doors to change. Look in your own life. Can you find the difference between decisions and quality decisions?

“In order to change you need to expand your knowledge base.”
My knowledge base is greater now than it’s ever been. I work on expending it daily. If you are trying to change your weight and get greater heath benefits, you need to read more. You need to do some research on your own. As a Christian, I was encouraged to start with God. Once I knew what He wanted me to do, I ran with it. I recommend reading “You are not what you weigh” if you haven’t. It’s not about diets because there is an explosion of books about that. It’s about God’s plan, your mind and having quality change that goes beyond your looks. I read different weight loss blogs. Some are straight diet knowledge, some offer different ideas on the relationship between the mind, habits and weight loss. I love success stories. I also read them. I browse different weight loss books at times. I stay with the good advice and throw the stuff that doesn’t fit me away. We need to keep learning and growing in all stages of life.

“You can’t change your life and live the same way.”
When we make quality changes in our lives, all other areas are subject to change as well. Once I abandoned food for stress relief reasons, I had to face the fact that I needed to manage and eliminate of stress in other ways. I dropped the snickers bar. I started to workout harder, sleep more, pursue peace, etc. I found a healthier regiment. I’m nowhere near perfect. I do fail at times but I’m working on eliminating stress in a way where it will become a habit.

I hope I gave you some food for thought. It’s not all about getting a piece of paper with a list of good and bad foods. It’s about changing. Let’s focus on quality changes this week. Your greatest cheerleader and guide is God. He will never leave you, never forsake you and He will never, never condemn you. There is NO condemnation to those who are IN CHRIST Jesus. To those who walk not according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. That sounds like great news to me!

Read More

Starting Over

Good week to everyone! This is the day – and the week – that the Lord has made. I will rejoice – even if I have to make myself rejoice – and be glad in it. My husband and I woke up really early today :) I’m a morning person but I haven’t been able to get to bed early for a while. Well, I restarted it today!

If you read my blog last week you noticed I was in the search for motivation. I feel like I got what works for me so this week I need to practice what I blog LOL.
I did some planning on Saturday. I wrote down all I need to cook so I can bring home cooked meals to work. I’m going out to eat a few times this week but I’ll mostly eat what I cook at home.

I plan on spending more time praying for my weight loss efforts. I believe God is willing to hear prayers for that area of my life. He does care about everything. I also need to keep pursuing peace. I finished reading Joyce Meyer’s book on that.

I feel like all her books can be read over and over again. I’m looking for something else to read. For now I’m sticking with Newsweek and one of the local papers. Everyone gets excited about reading more during the summer. Because I read throughout the year, the summer is just another season for me. I love reading so much, I consider each room in my home a reading room. When it comes to weight loss there are a lot of new diet books popping up everywhere. I usually don’t buy them. I focus more on books that will feed my soul and make me grow on the inside.

I just heard a great quote: “You cannot go forward if you keep dragging your past behind you.” Joyce Meyer.
Today I choose to forget about how much weight lost in 1996. What matters is what is going on NOW. I will forget about the past and press forward. I will make the effort to do the same when it comes to my speech. Unless asked about 1996, I will try not to bring it up in my conversations. I’m a new creature, old things have passed away, everything becomes new in Christ. Have an awesome week!

Read More

Relax

I've been busy!!!! My break last week was for that reason. I focused on prayer, work and relaxing as much as I could. I didn't write much. The only thing I'm still pondering was 'what if weight loss is not your goal?' There are some seasons in life where keeping up with life is all you can do. In my season, I've been remembering what's important: God and His plan for me.

There are other things I need to do to keep functioning well such as keeping a healthy diet and exercising. I've stayed away from coffee unless I'm hanging out with a friend. Here's a take of the Mayo Clinic:

"Though moderate caffeine intake isn't likely to cause harm, too much can noticeably affect your health. Heavy daily caffeine use — more than 500 to 600 mg a day, or about four to seven cups of coffee — can cause:
Restlessness
Anxiety
Irritability
Muscle tremors
Sleeplessness
Headaches
Nausea, diarrhea or other gastrointestinal problems
Abnormal heart rhythms" more

If you're already busy you don't need more symptoms. I know I don't. It's more challenging to get more sleep so you don't need that extra boost, but it's worth it. The only thing that's for sure is: seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Peace and relaxation included.

Read More

A imagem

Comparações a cobiça levam a morte. No meu caso, isso levou a morte da minha auto estima. O início desse ciclo comecou em 1993 quando eu estava assistindo a novela Mulheres de Areia. Gabriela Alves (li que ela mudou o nome pra Gabriela Toulier) foi a imagem de beleza que eu cobiçava.

15 anos atrás eu olhava pra essa atriz (que não era gorda mas perdeu bastante peso) e eu decidi que eu queria ser como ela. Que erro enorme que eu cometi. Eu me tornei como a imagem que eu cobiçava. Através daquela imagem eu fui apresentada a um tirano que constantemente me dizia que eu não era suficientemente magra ou boa. Eu li um livro que explicava exatamente o que aconteceu naquela época.
De acordo com o livro, esse “tirano” era uma voz que começou com um tom amistoso. Me dizia que se eu emagrecesse 10 quilos seria bom pra saude. Quando cheguei aos 55 quilos eu olhava no espelho e essa voz dizia que eu nao era magra o suficiente, que eu ainda estava gorda. Quando engordei de novo essa voz me acusava, noite e dia, de ser gorda, da minha barriga estar enorme, etc.

Assim como dizia o livro, eu não estava apenas escutando aquela voz, eu estava acreditando naquela voz.

Eu tenho muito respeito e admiração pela Gabriela Alves, que é uma artista trabalhadora, talentosa e inteligente. O meu erro foi de querer ser como a Gabriela. 14 anos depois Deus me mostrou o caminho pra fora desse ciclo vicioso de querer ser como outra pessoa. A doutora Mintle aqui dos EUA diz que nós precisamos ler a palavra de Deus pra que nós tenhamos satisfação.

“Nós temos que saber quem nós somos e como Deus nos formou como seres indivíduos. Se você não sabe quem você é, você vai ficar olhando pra outras pessoas e tentar se comparar a elas. Você tem que ir a Deus e a palavra Dele que nos diz quem nós somos em Cristo e quando você entender isto você não tem mais que se comparar a outas pessoas.”

Eu acho extremamente triste quando várias pessoas buscam inspiração em atrizes ou modelos pra perder peso. Quando eu busquei inspiração na Gabriela eu neguei o jeito admirável que Deus me formou:

“Eu te louvarei, porque de um modo tão admirável e maravilhoso fui formado;
maravilhosas são as tuas obras, e a minha alma o sabe muito bem.” Salmo 139:14

Deus não comete ou cria erros. Deus me ama e Ele me planejou do jeito que eu sou. Ele sabia que eu ganharia peso, perderia, ganharia de novo e Ele me deu um plano pra viver uma vida saudável porque Ele me ama, Ele é todo poderoso.
Eu decidi parar de ler e comprar revistas que exaltam uma imagem de beleza falsa e inatingível. Parei de assistir programas na televisão que fazem o mesmo. Um exemplo na vida real que procurei foi ver se todas as mulheres que vi no Brasil (quando fui em Dezembro) se parecem com modelos. A resposta é não porque Deus não criou clones, Ele criou pessoas reais, admiráveis e maravilhosas.

Read More

Neve

Meus amigos americanos quase nao acreditam quando eu digo que por 18 anos eu so via neve na televisao. Neve nao e a realidade carioca. Depois de 10 anos nos Estados Unidos eu me acostumei com o tempo frio. Descobri o que realmente gosto no inverno: tomar um nescau quentinho, ficar debaixo das cobertas assistindo um seriado bom, ler e olhar as paisagens. Hoje a temperatura aqui e de 6 graus e o minimo vai ser de -8. Diz que no Sabado a temperatura mais alta vai ser de -1 graus e tem neve prevista pra essa semana. Tenho pensando muito se devo entrar na academia ou nao. Se eu for contar com um inverno friento por mais 4 meses, vou ter que entrar amanha. Ontem recebi um e-mail com uma promocao pros funcionarios da minha empresa. Nos temos um descontao (nao so pra nos mas pra familia toda) se quisermos entrar na academia. Essa academia e incrivel. Alem de ter tudo quanto e aula tem uma quadra, uma piscina enorme, varias saunas e servicos de saude como nutricionista, massagem, fisioterapia, etc. Todas as maquinas sao novas, eles te dao muitas intrucoes pra usa-las, e eu posso falar muito mais sobre as vantagens. As vezes a gente quer poupar uma grana mas no final das contas eu estou investindo na minha saude. Alem do mais nao vou ter desculpas pra nao poder mais fazer exercicios. Em dias de neve tambem posso fazer exercicios, nao tem desculpas que esta muito frio e nao posso ir. Outra coisa legal de ir nessa academia e que a maioria do pessoal que malha sao idosos :) Muitos sao bacanas, te elogiam, te animam a continuar malhando. Nao tem como perder ne? Coloquei uma fotinho das montanhas daqui com um pouquinho de neve. Aproveite o verao por mim!

Esse e o meu novo sobrinho Elijah :) Bem-vindo ao mundo! This is my new nephew Elijah :) Welcome to the world!

Read More