Marathon training: from friendliness to deep friendships

Marathon training season starts in a few weeks. This will be officially the first season I won't train with my old running group. 

Although I moved after last year's training season started, I went back for a few key runs. I also became a virtual head coach instead of an in-person coach. I guess I was ahead of my time, considering all of this COVID-19 stuff.

I finished what I started (thank God) and marathon number 6 was a wrap.

I decided to sign up for another marathon this Winter because I thought it would be a good goal to pursue. Before the official training starts, I am working on eliminating extra body weight.

I have run enough to know that the extra weight only impedes my progress. I don't want to be on weight loss mode all my life. I want to reach my goal and proceed to maintenance. I have a great chance to reach my weight loss goal and I will reach it before the end of the year.

Back to running. I'm glad I learned a lot about myself these past 6 marathons. I know how to run with a group and I know how to run alone. 

Both skills are very important. My thing is, I don't want to be stuck. I need to be able to adapt to my surroundings so I can reach my running goals. 

One time, the weather was awful and I ran 17 miles on a treadmill. I don't recommend it but that experience taught me to press on and accomplish my goal.

Running with a group is an acquired skill. The running community is generally friendly. The problem some people run into is turning that friendliness into deep friendships. Some runners remain acquaintances after decades of running together. Others develop deep friendships that last a lifetime. 

I don't think there is a secret to developing deep friendships with people. It all depends on the individual and where they are in life. I will write more about this in a later post. 

As a newcomer to a group, you will notice small groups in existence. Most groups are friendly and they do not mind you running with them. Some groups say they are friendly but they are really closed groups running in public. 

It doesn't take long for me to figure out these dynamics. I often ask myself, "should I try to belong to this group who clearly does not want me to be part of them or do I find another way?" 

That's when my skill of running solo or with a group comes in handy. I've had to do both and I'm okay with both. What I try not to do is to be hurt because a group or a person does not want me to run with them. 

Running doesn't discriminate but runners sometimes do. Reaching my running goals while cultivating a forgiving heart is better than getting frustrated with trying to belong to a closed running group.

I've learned to pray about everything, running included. My prayer is that God will lead me to the right people and vice-versa. When I focus on the vice-versa part of the equation, I feel better.

For example, I noticed a lot of people around me were trying to belong to the running community. I thought about my experiences as a runner and as a minority runner. I decided to be a safe space, an encouraging force to anyone who will receive me. I decided to act on this belief.

I verbalize the following: "I am glad you are here. You belong. You don't have to jump any hoops or do anything special to be part of us. You belong just as you are and we want you to feel you are part of us.  Here is my number if you ever need it."

This statement makes my heart's intentions crystal clear. I also find that instead of waiting for someone to do this for me, I can freely offer it to others.

Focusing on the positive is the best way to live and run.

This training season will be different. I dearly miss the familiarity of my old running group. Still, I will learn more about myself. I will bring all that I am to my upcoming training season.

Most runners I met in the past are great people. I met a lot of welcoming, genuine people. My share of bad experiences does not represent the overwhelming good I receive from the running community.

I am thankful for what was. I look forward to what will be. I am committed to being a force for God's goodness in my local running community. I want to be welcoming, encouraging and I want to see my friends reach their running goals.

Here's to a brand new long-distance running season. My heart is free, my whole being is ready to accomplish another marathon. 

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How to find a Mentor

One of the most challenging parts of moving to another community is rebuilding my entire friendship circle. Finding friends can be a challenge but I've learned how to intentionally connect with people. I also wrote an eBook called "Finding your Tribe" if you are interested in my ideas of how to do make and maintain friends.

Moving hometowns also taught me that meeting new neighbors can be a challenge. Because of that, we created the habit of meeting them and maintaining a friendly relationship.

The greatest challenge for me comes when I am trying to find a mentor. I start this journey knowing God is faithful. He always connects me with people, in flesh and blood who can encourage me in my life's journey.

Mentoring is different than friendships. Friendship is very much a two-way street. Mentoring, as I understand it, is a relationship where someone guides you to a place you haven't been yet. They can be friendly while doing it. The purpose is to guide, encourage and lead to a higher purpose.

How in the world one finds someone who is willing to do something like that? My encouragement is not to start with the Internet. I believe that we need mentors who are real people. I need to see someone and sit with them. I want them to do the same thing for me. I want to observe their lives. I want them to know that my open-door policy applies to them. They can call me out of my less than into God's best.

The Bible encourages older women to mentor younger ones. I believe that this type of mentorship is possible, otherwise, God wouldn't tell us to practice it. The benefits are endless, the issue is, how?

I believe every successful mentorship starts with prayer. God, who answers prayers, can match you with the perfect mentor. He can also lead me to ministries that match women who want to be in a mentor/mentee environment. I was part of a mentoring ministry in the past as a mentee. It was life-giving and refreshing. It meant a lot to have someone to pray for me and with me when I needed the most. All of this started with prayer.

The next step is to actually go to places where your mentor would go. Let's say you knit and you are eager to find a mentor in that area. I bet your mentor is part of a knitting community as well as a knitting club. Mentors are often actively doing what they do best. You need to join the club in order to meet your mentor. I know not everyone is into knitting. You can substitute that with any other activity you desire to excell.

The last step is to watch God answer your prayers. Once you prayed, surrounded yourself by people who are following the same pursuits, God will answer your prayers. He will pair you with a mentor.

How exactly that happens? You two may end up working together. I've learned a lot from people with whom I worked "elbow to elbow." In other instances, you may ask the person to mentor you. I've done that several times. I'm here to say that every time I asked for help, someone helped me for a season.

Each mentor I've had is different. I had one who would mentor me during monthly lunches. I was also blessed to assist her as she taught a class. Each interaction was a blessing and an honor. I still carry those lessons with me.

I've worked alongside incredible women who allowed me to ask so many questions about life with God, family, and ministry. I still practice what they taught me. I still keep in touch with them.

These experiences encourage me to wait on the Lord. He knows I don't enjoy living life alone. He knows I appreciate learning from women who have been where I am. I too hope to be a good influence on others.

If you have a mentor, serve them well. Ask questions. Listen attentively and encourage them.

If you are looking for a mentor, remember to pray because God hears you. Frequent places where wise mentors would be and watch God answer your prayers in incredible ways.

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America

My father dreamed of America.

At the time, he was told it wasn’t a great idea.
It was the 60s and his beautiful skin color wouldn’t be the best thing, he was told.

Still, my father dreamed. And he also prayed.

Many decades later, his children came to America legally to pursue education.

Some of us stayed, some went back to our country.

I’m the last sibling living in the U.S. to become an American citizen. I’m thankful for all the blessings I’ve received here.

A little over 2,500 people from 121 countries became U.S. Citizens

Today, I remember my father, whose dreams came true thanks to God’s favor.

I remember my mother, whose humble beginnings remind me of my responsibility as a human being to help others succeed.

I remember my husband & children. I’m fully committed to them and I proved that commitment today.

I’ve always known I’m a citizen of heaven. I’ve always been free. I’m grateful for both blessings.

I’m mostly grateful that God answers prayers. My father prayed, I prayed, my friends and family prayed and here we are today.

Here I am, taking my Oath

I’m glad I can finally say, “I, too, am America.” (Langston Hughes)

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Insta model

I'd be an Insta model but I can't. Ha ha!

Social media has definitely influenced fashion and how we see ourselves. Before all of these trends started, I was already enjoying my fair share of fashion.

I never saw myself as a model (and still do not). I always enjoyed dressing nicely for what I could afford. Motherhood also influenced my fashion sense. Let’s say that for first 8 years, I discovered the wonders of going from exercise clothes to lounge wear most days of the week. We always dressed up on weekends but most of the week, our family enjoys feeling comfortable.

Going to work full-time changed my fashion sense. Dressing up to teach preschool music is different than getting dressed for a church job. When God blessed me with a job in academia, my fashion sense gained a whole new level of freedom.

No matter how many variables I deal with, I find it important to know who I am when it comes to choosing the clothes I wear. Here are a few lessons I've learned along the way:

I need help - one of the best things I did was to ask a friend who is a fashion designer to help me with my clothing choices. She looked at all of my pieces and gave me some great advice I follow until this day. Good advice on style is very helpful and needed. I needed a real person to tell me about the styles that actually would work for me. Her eye to detail helped me realized what I was missing in my closet as well.

I pay attention - I’m not a big trend setter but I do pay attention to trends. If I see something I like, I often get it from a thrift store. I also watch trends for a long time. I learned that everything goes on sale. If I wait long enough, I'll get what I want for a great price. Because I'm not paid to be a model I get to wait a while until I adopt a certain trend.

I know my worth - Confidence is the best accessory I'll ever possess. My worth and value do not come from the clothes I wear. I don't measure my worth by outward things. Knowing my worth makes this entire fashion journey make sense to me. I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker. She is in her 70s and she told me that she feels it is important for children to have a healthy sense of self-worth and confidence. Sure, an adult can pick it up later, but if you learn it as a child, great.

Folks, this is the best fashion post you'll get from me. I could be more specific and write about clothes, trends, prices, etc. I prefer to tell you about the things I treasure the most. My need for help is one of them. The knowledge that confidence is the best accessory is another good lesson. One can fake having confidence during a photoshoot. It is important to live well from the inside out and know that the way God sees you is the most relevant thing you'll ever realize. 

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8 years of Houston: Lessons Learned

God blessed us by bringing us to Houston 8 years ago. Each year, I pause and reflect on the lessons learned. Each year, I realize how incredibly good God is to us. 

Tough seasons teach us resilience - I had difficult jobs in these past 8 years. I learned resilience. I learned not to allow those who want to harm me to have control over my life. I remember being in a difficult assignment. It was shortly after I found out it was going to be difficult. I decided to take care of my health, so I started losing weight. I decided to take care of my inner life. I chose a Bible verse to think about when the going got tough. God surprised me with an open door at the end of that season. I learned once again that I can be resilient if I know that God sees and He takes care of me. I also learned that if I don’t take care of my health, no one else will. 

Kids have the right perspective - Our kids hear stories about our family's walk with God and they have a different perspective than we do. They love, trust, laugh, play  and live for today with incredible hope for tomorrow. When we go through hard times, I watch our kids closely. A few years ago, they could care less that we were in transition. Other than not giving them details, because we don’t believe in encouraging them to be anxious, we did share that we were praying about our next assignment. Once they said “amen,” the joy and the games continued. I had a visual of what “life is a continual feast” looked life. The kids taught me that my attitude about my Heavenly Father needed to be the same. I trust Him and I want to trust Him as our children joyfully trust us. 

Something new - God opened incredible doors of opportunity these past years. Even our enemies were surprised. “They must really want you there,” they said. I honestly didn’t know what to say other than “God is sending me there.” I was told many years ago that God would do something new in my life. He would use me in an area that was completely new. Well, here I am. I learned to trust God’s ability to move and arrange things without me. He who sees the end from the beginning is the master connector. He brought us here and He decides how we can best serve Him. 

A different type of Preaching - I learned that as I close my Bible, I open up my life to others. I’m not sure if God will call me to work at a church. For years I thought I would end up at a church but now I am really happy working in academia. There is no Bible quoting outside of church and home. People are really looking for “results.” People outside of church study character and they know a phony when they see one. If you say Jesus is your Savior, they basically wait and see how you act daily. I learned that some of us, working in the secular world, can’t hide behind our Bibles. Our lives are wide open for others to see it. That’s actually good. I learned that God often uses people who rely on Him to be present in the absence of religious paraphernalia. What we really have is the life we choose to live. This type of lifestyle requires sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. It requires being open and honest with all people, no matter how they choose to live their lives. It requires good listening skills. It requires the assurance that God has an assignment for me in my workplace. Living and working in the secular world has taught me to take a deep breath and ask God, “what do you want me to express in this situation?” He might want to encourage the other person with hope. The fact is that some of us are called to serve in secular places like Daniel and Joseph once were. God needs His best people working excellently in the secular world. There’s no hiding behind our Bibles. There is quite a bit of walking out what we believe as we rely on God’s Spirit. 

Some Friendships are hard to keep - I wrote extensively about this the other day. I experienced waves of people in and out of my life. There are a lot of friends who are seasonal: when the small group (or church job) is over, we no longer see each other. There are friends who come to me out of convenience: once their life crisis is over, they go silent. I also understand that our family serves in a ministry where you are there for people in times of need. I remember grieving a few years ago with the loss of two major people in my life. Because we are in ministry, one of the sheep had priority. All the prayers and attention went to the sheep. Good thing God didn’t forget about me. A group of friends noticed me and did something so beautiful to celebrate the lives Heaven gained. I’m forever grateful. 

Invest in connections outside of church - I learned that the church can’t be my everything. I tried to find friends in church when we first moved to Texas but they were either busy or I wasn’t their kind of person (I didn’t have the same hobbies for example). I learned to reach outside of the church for connections. I think that was one of the best things I’ve done outside of caring for my family. When I reached outside of church for friendships and connections, I no longer had to depend on one group of people to be part of my social circle. I also had a wealth of groups and friends who truly enhanced my life. These friends don’t see me as the pastor’s wife. They have a different view of who I am which helps make our friendship easier. I say that because when people see you as a pastor’s wife only, their mind brings up good or bad stereotypes which they project on you. When people see you as a person who is friendly, they give you a chance to be yourself without all the baggage some titles naturally carry. Investing in connections outside of the church is an easy thing to do. You just have to persist until you find your people. 

More in this Series:
• 7 years of Houston: Discovery
• 6 years of Houston: adapting to a new community
• 5 years of Houston: stuff I can say

• 4 years of Houston: reflections of a pastor’s wife

• 3 years of Houston: how my roots grew deep

• Pastor’s wife - purpose and security

• Hope during transition

• Transition and the dorm room

• Transitioning from SAHM to Working Mom

• Isolation

• While I wait: do something

• While I wait: finding balance

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Bible in One Year: 2018 is a wrap

I am so glad to report that I have finished reading the Bible in One year. I started a bit early and finished early.

I also made sure I stayed on track by doing the following:

• When I got late, I made sure I read until I got caught up with the reading
• I both read and listened to the Bible (not at the same time).
• I used a different plan which included videos. I did not watch all the videos. My goal was to read the Bible and the videos took more time than I had. My goal was to complete the reading.
• I mostly used the app the remind me where I was with the reading. I didn't like their format. Most of the time, I used my Bible and I opened the app to see how far I needed to read.

My takeaways in 2018 were:

• Reading the Bible in one year is a habit I enjoy. I will read the entire Bible again in 2019.
• I learned a lot and I was able to share what I learned with my family.
• The more I read the Bible, the more I need to study it. Studying and reading the Bible are two different things. I'm determined to take my time and study what I read. I'm not studying to be a scholar but I want the word of God to make a difference in my own life.

It takes between 10-15 minutes to complete a Bible in one year plan. If you don't feel like you have time, you can decrease your social media browsing by 15 minutes :)

I hope you join me and read the bible in one year! No need to wait until January, you can start now!

More in this series:
• Bible in a year: how I'm doing
• Bible in a year: side effects
• How my friends and I read the Bible in one year
• Bible Study Lady
• One Year Bible: Time Management
• Bible in a Year: Half Way to my Goal
• 5 Strategies to Actually Read the Bible in a Year

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Camp Listenbee 2018

This weekend we are celebrating 54 days of Camp Listenbee. It has been a full summer, filled with all types of good things. The kids had fun and we learned a lot as we hosted family. The summer is not over but we have learned so many lessons we will forever treasure. Here are a few.

swimming is the best

The highlight reel - this is what we show you on social media. No one knows the extent of what it takes to make life work during the summer unless you are present right there. Please don’t let the internet fool you: we never show you all it takes. It took a lot of prayer, love and patience. We do give God the credit for keeping us and for leading us during this journey.

vacation Bible school

Organic discipleship - I learned that organic discipleship might be the way to go with me. I had intentions to have a very organized time of discipleship with the kids but we went the organic route. If they had a question, we answered. Instead of following a program, we basically focused on topics they were interested in such as the Bible and science and the prophet Ezekiel. I know, I wouldn’t pick these topics myself. It’s worth listening to what they are interested in and building disciples from there.

Rest is best - I’m a stickler when it comes to rest. We all need rest. I believe that practicing rest helps all human beings as they grow old. Establishing a rhythm of rest is a gift.

We are "famoos"

Memory bank - The last time we had the kids over for the summer, I read that today’s activities will be tomorrow’s memories. You can’t decide what people will remember but I believe that if we live in love, good memories will follow. I was very aware that everybody’s memory bank was getting filled.

Goodness from friends - a few of our friends displayed a huge amount of goodness toward us. I’m thankful for their kind gestures. Human beings do puzzle me. I’ve learned just to observe them and to be thankful to those who decide they are going to reach out and love us, no matter what we have going on.

As we move to the final phase of our summer, I’m thankful for all the support we’ve had from our family. It took a village and I am grateful to those who chose to help make Camp Listenbee successful. I am also thankful to the kids themselves. They are an immense source of joy and blessing daily. I am thankful to God for keeping us and leading us. His love never fails.

More in this series:

• Camp Listenbee 2017
• Camp Listenbee 2016
• Camp Listenbee 2013
• Summer Organization Tips for Mothers of Preschoolers
• Preschool Summer Camp Coop

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Finish Line November

Mid-November is that time of year we’re all trying to make it to the “finish line.” The problem is that we’re not there yet. Today I want to encourage you to take decisive steps towards finding balance in your life.

Focus on that which can be done today - if you have a big goal ahead of you, you may be a bit overwhelmed. Try to focus on what you can do together. Whether the goal is to declutter, finish a big project at work or get a breakthrough with a particular kid, focus on what can be done today. Smalls steps will lead you to that big goal. You just have to focus on putting one foot in front of the other.

If everything is in disarray, start with laundry and food - this one is for people like me who are often trying to get control of their household chores. Trust me, start with laundry and food instead of trying to paint that extra bedroom. Why laundry and food? You will need clean clothes to step outside of the house. You will need food for energy. If you can get both going at the same time, great.

Prep something for tomorrow - Having a huge prep day is not always feasible but I can always do one thing. In my dream world, I prep food and clothes for the week, each weekend. Most of the time, I can get part of my goal done. This weekend for example, I did laundry and I’m hoping to prep at least one meal for the week. One is better than nothing.

Take a deep breath, tomorrow is another day - We need to remember to be good to ourselves. Use compassion when thinking about your goals. If you just came through a difficult season in life, give yourself compassion and understanding. Whether you need to push through a difficult task or you need to take a break from it, take a deep breath. Remember that when things go wrong, as they sometimes do, you have another day tomorrow.

As you push to the finish line, wherever yours may be, remember to be compassionate with yourself and enjoy the gift of today.

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School Year: the good and the not so good

This academic year was epic. I have nothing but thanksgiving to God for blessing the kids in their schools. This year I continued my habit of praying daily with the kids for teachers, staff and classmates. 180 days of prayers to a God who sees and answers is very powerful! 

The kids' year - all my kids had a blessed year. I have three very individually unique children. I basically took a course on human behavior,  intercession and plain ole perseverance. My children had their unique set of challenges this year. God helped us overcome them all. I basically do not know what I'd do without Him and the wisdom I find in the Bible. We are all eager to enjoy this summer to the fullest and to create more memories at "Camp Listenbee." Let me tell you what worked and what didn't work this school year: 

What worked: 

• Praying on the way to school - it has become a tradition and I find it to be a great way to know what's in the kids' hearts. You'd think that praying before school makes it for a perfect start of the day, every day right? Not because my own humanity was involved. I had to take a deep breath and remember to encourage, no matter what. I also learned that rushing to get the kids to school should be avoided if possible. 

• Preparation - The way of peace in the morning also came through preparation. If I had clothes, lunch and everything else ready the night before, it made it for an easier morning. I also tried to prepare for the week as far as the kids' clothes. That was a great time saver! I didn't braid the girls' hair every week but when I did, that saved a lot of time in the morning. I learned that preparation is the key to a successful morning. If I had important papers to send to school, I tried to take care of them the day the kids brought the papers home. 

What didn't work:

• Losing my peace of mind -  Schools have improved their communication strategy with the use of Apps. The Apps are great but they do not tell the whole story. I lost my peace of mind a lot before I learned to slow down and actually hear what my kids were saying. I also kept in touch with teachers to get a whole picture of what was happening in the classroom. Basically, I'd get really worried about a kid 'losing points' for example. Come to find out, there's such thing as everyone gets punished on a certain day of the week and/or because the whole class suffered the consequences that a few students caused. This whole thing led us to a teaching moment. We taught the kids to stick with doing what is right, no matter the consequences. 

• Dairy - I'm not anti-dairy, I actually love cheese but cheese does not love me. It turns out one of my kids shares my 'stay away from dairy' genes. I had switched to Almond Milk a few years ago but this school year we went dairy-free in one lunchbox. I packed a lot of dinner leftovers. It turned out to be a good change. 

I took a Bible College Class in the Spring. I wrote a blog post about it here. I am very thankful for the opportunity and I am still enjoying all the new information I learned. I am still thinking about going back to get a PhD in Communications at some point. My requirements are: it needs to work for my family and I don't want to pay for it. I believe in scholarships, fellowships, etc. We will see! 

The latest lesson I learned from this academic year was to adjust my expectations. I started the school years with some high expectations. The interesting thing about life is that we have to learn to adjust accordingly. If we don't, we just walk about frumpy all the time. I'm not the best about adjusting to frustrations all the time. Still, I don't want to walk around frumpy so I have been practicing quite a bit of acceptance. It's quite freeing. 

This year I spent 75 hours in carpool. That's correct, those 20 minutes or so a day add up if you multiply them by 180. I decided to take the Zig Ziglar approach and make that my 'automobile university.' I used those 75 hours to read and to keep in touch with loved ones. I am determined to use every little bit of time to add something good to my brain. Numbing the mind is just not good over all. How would you invest 75 hours my friend?

I hope you had a good academic year. Whether you had it or not, I pray you have an amazing, joy-filled summer. Congratulations to us all, we made it through another school year! 

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2 years of Organizing: what works and what doesn't

the never ending work of organizing

I didn't meant to do this but I realized that the investment I made 2 years ago on organizing my home is totally paying off. I want to tell you what worked and how I am maintaining my success in this area.

Let me tell you how it all started. I had a 6, 5 and a 3 year-old two years ago. We never really had steady home help but occasionally we'd hire someone to come a clean the home. The helpers always did a great job and I also learned that while most people clean your home, organizing it is up to you.

I went back to work and my schedule got super tight. Still, my organization problems did not go away. I told my husband that I'd try to manage the home myself. One time I paid a few bucks so someone could help me organize one of my kids' closets. I learned a lot from that experience. So, how am I enjoying an organized home today?

The first thing I identified was my greatest frustration source. I would say EVERYTHING but to be honest, laundry was the worse thing on my list. It had to be done and I just couldn't keep up with it. I used to have everything laying out on my closet floor because things were really out of hand. Once I identified my greatest source of frustration, I went after my solution. Hiring a professional organizer was out of the realm of what I could afford. I also didn't think that paying someone to clean and do laundry was a good investment of our budget. I knew I had to do it myself, the question was "how?" I came up with my 45-minute solution and I insisted in using it for the past 2 years. I truly found something that I could do myself, it did not cost $30 an hour and every time I use this method I get great results.

The second thing I identified was a time slot when I could implement this plan. I had to take a hard look at my schedule to realize that if I was going to reach the goal of working on organizing my home, I had to BE at home. I had to turn down a lot of outing opportunities so that I could work on home organization. I know some of you probably knew that but I certainly didn't. This also explains why I couldn't keep up with laundry before. I was not at home enough and when I was, I was exhausted. Laundry was the last thing on my list. A great plan without time to implement it is not so great.

The third thing I identified was the need to be persistent with my new discovery. Once I found out that the 45-minute solution was going to get me out of the hole and that I needed to be home to implement it, I added persistence to this equation. Getting organized feels like a miracle but there's nothing miraculous about doing laundry every week. I needed to realize that persistence is the name of the game. I often tell myself "finish what you start" when I am about to work on laundry. I also timed myself washing and folding clothes to further convince my brain that this necessary chore doesn't take long and the benefits are immense. I also learned to save some fun Podcast for such time as laundry time. Anything to aid persistence is worth doing.

I understand some of my readers are just too busy to think about adding one more thing in their schedules. I want to offer some solutions that did not work me for me but may work for you.

• Hire Professional Help - Just admit you can't do it and bless someone else with your money. The return for your investment are a clean home and peace of mind. Where would you find such person? Ask around. Ask me if you live in my neck of the woods. Even if you get monthly help, it will be worth the investment.

• Hire a young friend - I told you that I paid a few bucks to a friend who helped me organize my kids' closet. I know people who have the habit of hiring a teenager to play with their kids while they organized a certain area of their home. If the kids are your main concern, there are people out there who will play with them while you get organized. It costs a fraction of the cost of hiring a professional and most of your good friends would tell you that they'd do it for free. All you have to do is ask.

• Barter - I have yet to find someone who would do this for me but I know that exchanging one talent for another is a great way to get organized. Again, all you have to do is ask the right person and let go of the pride that stops you from admitting you need help. Think about your talents: you have many! I am sure that someone out there can benefit from your talent and you can benefit from theirs. Be open.

• Live in a mess until your kids grow up - I'm not willing to do this but it is also an option. To each its own right?

• Join a Coop - I understand that people are more open to join a cooking coop than an organizing one. What I've heard through the years is that people do not want others to see what their house looks like. Here's the thing: if your friends want to see a perfect house, they go to the stands and look for Martha Stewart's Living Magazine. We all just need to recognize that living in community requires transparency and an open door policy. Transparency because if you are open, God can answer your prayers through your friends. Open door because if you decide to open your doors any time a friend comes over, you will benefit from living in truth. You will also stop apologizing for the way your home looks. Your friends don't care, they do care about your beautiful heart.

Oh wow, I started with home organization by the way of laundry and I ended with transparency. If you know me you've heard me say that it is through transparency that light shines brighter. Happy organizing!

More on Home Organization:
• Time Management for the New Mom
• Why Declutter?
• How to avoid holiday clutter
• Food Prep Day
• Organization Hack: time your chores
• Finding an Organization Method that works
• The 45-minute solution: organizing
• Want to be hospitable? Here are 5 tips
• Leaders in the home front: organization 

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2017 Goal Setting: learning from 2016

The new year is almost here! It's important to write down your goals. It can be simple, it just needs to be done. As I rethink 2016, I have found an efficient way to reach my 2017 goals. It starts with reassessing. Have you reassessed your life in 2016? What worked? What have you learned? Here's what worked for me this year:

• Writing down my goals - I'm amazed that the simple fact that I wrote my goals increased the possibility of achieving those goals. This year I had 5 categories: Fitness, Family, Faith, Business and Other. The "other" goals were reached so easily. One of my my goals is to travel during the summer with my family. Another one was to run a race in California. I'm encouraged to keep writing down all my goals. 

• Looking beyond goals - A tired person is less likely to reach any goals. It's important to make some major adjustments beyond goals. I took a serious look at my time management and decided not to volunteer myself to death. I decided instead to practice "focused volunteering" which means, I looked at my time limit and my talents and then I made a decision about my volunteering opportunities. I also took a serious look on my joy meter because "no joy, no strength." I cut down on some activities that were just not bringing a return that added to my joy and well-being. Looking beyond goals can really help us reach them. 

• Be flexible - I have never experienced this but now that I am looking at some of my fitness goals, I see that I was being too strict with them. I didn't consider the detours that come to all people who set goals in life. I decided that I need to be flexible and I may need to adjust my goals while never giving up on excellence. 

Now that I have all of this in mind, I adjusted my 2017 the following way:

• I'm focusing on my strengths instead of trying to set goals for every weakness I have. I don't know why I never thought about that! In distance running, one needs to have a "running base" in order to wisely proceed with marathon training. The base is built over time and once you have a strong base, you may steadily put on more miles till you reach your peak. The you cut down for a few weeks then you run a marathon. I'm applying the same principle to goal setting. I built a base in 2016. Instead of going out too fast too soon, I'll build from that base and then keep going on towards my goals. 

• I will also write down "other" goals while being totally open to the awesomeness God may bring into my life. I'm thinking I enjoy living a "steady plotting" kind of life. The ordinary, every day activities are the ones that lead us to great achievements. Back to the marathon example, everyone loves marathon day, especially the atmosphere at the finish line. I wish those same people could see us on mile 7 then mile 23. Every mile tells a different story and we celebrate the culmination of months, MONTHS of training at the finish line. It took small steps. Some of us started with a couch to 5K training plan but we started somewhere. The key thing is to be open to the goodness that God always has in mind for us. 

I want to encourage you to take the time to write down your goals for 2017 before the end of 2016. I want to tell you that 2016 was not a waste. You lived and you learned. Let your 2017 goals reflect those lessons. Build on your base and keep moving towards greatness my friend. 

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95 days till 2017!

95 days and we are in 2017. We have work to do people! The key is to start where you are! Read "September is the new January" for inspiration. 

 I'm trying not to be discouraged when I look at my goals but to be inspired to reach them. Here's the thing about goal setting: just because I wrote it down, it doesn't mean that it will magically happen. It does mean that I have margin and guidelines for the year. 

One of my goals was to run an out of town half-marathon and the race is coming up this weekend. I trained, I set my goal and Sunday I will race after that goal (literally). I appreciate your prayers for a successful race and trip. 

Others goals have not been easy to do. I often think of ignoring them but that would not be fair to the person who wrote those goals last year (moi). I choose instead to keep pursuing them for 95 days and then I'll see what I can get accomplished.
One of my real life, goal setting inspirations, is my friend Jennifer. She's a working wife and mother of a little one who just finished her second Ironman Triathlon. Instead of thinking of her as someone who has supernatural abilities, I think of her as a wife, mother and professional who has a busy schedule but takes her goals seriously. I also admire her thankful heart. Recently she shared her thanksgiving for her family and the many people who support her so she can reach such a big goal. It does take a village! I'm thankful for Jennifer being one of my real life goal achieving examples.

So here is what I am working with:

Fitness Goals - I successfully trained for my Fall Half-Marathon and I'm on track to reach my PR goal. This upcoming race will also be my base race for the rest of the season. My ultimate goal is to PR the Chevron Houston Marathon in January. I have lots of racing to do and I plan on learning strategy that way. 

Family Goals - family schedules are quite fluid throughout the year. The first 6 months of this year was very intense. Okay, the first 8 months! Things are different now which means I have room to be on top of my family goal of scheduling dates with my husband. We've been dating when we can but the plan is to get a firm date each week. Another one of my goals is to "give everyone 100% attention: no looking at screens unless working." I've been convicted about this because I'm teaching through my actions. So far, so good. 

Business Goals - this one has moved slowly but not really. I've invited God into my business goals and I've been getting exactly what I can handle in this are. For that, I'm really happy. 

Faith Goals - I've been super late with my Bible in a Year plan but the great thing is that I haven't neglected Bible reading at all. During the summer I focused on Colossians and in the Spring, when things got busier for me, I read less in quantity. I still think I can catch up. Stay tuned! I also set the goal of (Biblical) Fasting more often. I'm glad my church has Fasts on Wednesdays, which is a great reminder of my goal. It's also nice to do it as a church. 

Other Goals - Most of my "other" goals were accomplished. I don't know why, it just was easier somehow to get those done. They were also travel related, which is nice.

I also would like to remind us that the holidays are near. As of today, we have:

89 days till Christmas
58 days till Thanksgiving

We don't celebrate Halloween but if you do, get on the ball! The goal is not to let these holidays catch you unprepared. How am I preparing? I've been cleaning closets and making room for the extra things we pick up at the end of the year. This is making me very happy!

Time is going to pass by my friend. Wisdom is found when you decide how to spend it towards reaching your goals. Have a blessed day!

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How to set Summer Goals in One Easy Step

Hey friend, you have 205 days or 29 weeks till the end of the year! Yes, I'm a goal oriented person and I'm totally motivated by the goals I set way back in January. In all honesty, sometimes I wonder why I set my goals. When I feel like I am not making progress, it hurts me to look at them. I tell you when it does NOT hurt to look at my goals: when I reach them. So friends, I'll keep setting goals and achieving them because it works! Today I want to teach you how to set summer goals in 1 easy step. Why summer goals?

After the kids and I were out of school, I felt a little out of focus. I quickly figured out I had not set short term goals for the summer. Once I set my summer goals, life's been way more productive. 

Here's how to set summer goals in one easy stop: Write down your  Summer Priorities. Here are mine, not in order of importance:

• Camp Listenbee - we started this week. Because we have a schedule to follow, we can be as flexible or as rigid as I'd like. It's freeing have a daily schedule. I also signed the kids up for a few classes, so they will be our "field trips." So far we are all having a great time. I also enjoy the fact that I get to be the cook for the camp (and the director, nurse, counselor, you get the picture) and we are eating WAY better than we did during the school year. I actually have more time to cook so sandwiches are scarce (yes!).  

• Weight Loss - this last week I was able to journal my food intake for 7 days. That's a big win and it is showing. I am following my doctor's advice and that also has been a good for me. My goal is to lose weight to run better and so that my health can continue to benefit from all the effort I put into it. 

• Bible Study - I am co-teaching a summer study on the book of Colossians (you can hear it here) so instead of hanging out non-stop, I need to study a lot. Studying during Camp Listenbee has been interesting. I honestly study when I can. I know God will continue to give me grace as I make room for Him in the midst of all the assignments He has given me. I tell you what, making time to study the Bible in depth has been fascinating. 

• Work - Yep, I'm still working. It's been also great to learn how to work from home during the summer. Some of the strategies I started in the winter have helped me to stay productive. Maybe, if you're interested, I can tell you about my experience. You can go to www.cintialistenbee.com to learn about what I do. 

• Marriage - I recently looked back at these past 10 years and I decided there is plenty room for improvement for me as a wife. I am committed to invest in my marriage this summer. 

So, that's how I set my summer goals in one step. Easy hum? This list is a bit different from my January goals list but this list compliments my original goals. I find it helpful to brush off my list every season and keep my goals in front of me. 

I was amazed at how many of the goals I wrote last year have already happened. God is good and I am determined not to coast through this year. 

Last but not least, I decided to read more this summer. I got 3 books from the library: two Zig Ziglar and one John Maxwell. My goal is to fill up my positivity tank. I also know that as I read, I'll stay motivated to reach my goals. You can't give what you don't have, right? 

Have an amazing day and I hope you take the time to read your goals (or set them) today. 

Facebook Group mentioned in the post:
• HOPE Health Support Group
Previously in this series:

• 32 weeks left in 2016! Here are my goals

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Want to be Hospitable? Here are 5 solutions.

You're eligible to be a hospitable host. Number one because the Bible encourages to do so. Number two because if I can do it, so can you. Take my "impossible to keep it clean" kitchen for example. I try my best to make it look like Martha Stewart Living but I fail every time. I sweep and mop just to have my kids spill my carefully cooked food on the floor. I am aware that life is happening. I am knowledgeable that the kids are small for now and growing every day. 

Somehow, in our minds, hospitality equals complete cleanness and organization. While these components help, I've experience hospitality in places that were void of what First World dwellers consider essential for hospitality to happen. 

Growing up in Rio de Janeiro, my family has been welcomed to small homes located in big slums. One time, on the way to one of these homes, our family passed right in front of teen drug dealers holding big riffles. God always protected and I trust He always will. When we finally got to the home, the homemaker welcomed us with a big smile. Her joy made the size of her home and all she had to offer needless. The way she made each one of us feel inside made a lasting impact. Hospitality is the word of a heart filled with peace and joy. I can't tell you exactly what we ate or drank, but I can tell you that our host family welcomed us with the love of Christ and they made us feel so great. 

I want to show hospitality from my heart to the heart of others. I believe that making an impact like this matters. 

I honestly had to ease myself into opening my home after I had children. When I was chronically tired because of sleep deprivation, it was tough to wrap my mind around the idea that I needed to clean anything else other than little behinds that were wrapped in 3 diapers. Nowadays, I came up with a few hospitality hacks that really work in my favor when we know someone is coming over. 

1. Get the kids on board - my kids can pick up stuff and the older ones can do some light cleaning. You have no idea how quickly we get things in order with 3 hands helping this Mamãe. 

2. Keep one room clean - There's always one clean room, basically because no one ever goes there. I can always invite people to sit there because it will be clean and inviting. 

3. Turn on the smell good - Whether I plug something in or light a candle, smell has a lot to do with setting an atmosphere for hospitality. Hospitality it's not only visual: all the senses get involved in the experience. Think about that next time you're welcoming someone to your home. 

4. Don't forget the snacks - I'm not talking about a 5 o'clock hight tea menu. It's always nice to have something to offer. I enjoy baking, so most weeks I freeze a few muffins and when we have guests coming in, I can unfreeze them. The ideal situation is to bake before they show up so the house can smell fantastic. 

5. Peaceful Heart - Before people notice your home, they notice your heart. Have you ever been at someone's home and they were not calm in spirit? You may have asked them what was wrong and they might have shoved off the question with a smile. It's hard to fake the lack of peace. It's tough to be at peace when you're in the mad rush to clean before someone shows up. Do take time to stop and pray for Christ, the Prince of Peace, to fill your heart and home. Accept the fact that your situation might not change but your heart can change from confused to peaceful. A peaceful heart is able to make hospitality a great ministry. 

If you feel that God is calling you to be more hospitable, take it from me, it can be done. Hospitality is also very encouraging to me as a host. I've opened my home in days that I thought "maybe I should cancel because I have this or that bothering me." God's grace was sufficient and once the person left, I was encouraged in heart and spirit. 

I pray you find the courage to open your heart and your home to others in Jesus' name. 

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