Quick fix: summer body

'Tis the season of quick fixes. The summer is in 35 days. What a lot of people do is get desperate and ask themselves: how can I get the best results with the least effort?

I don't blame them. Working smarter is a thing. The problem is when we have to keep starting and restarting our health journeys. Talk about frustration. 

A common barrier is the number of holidays between now and the summer. After Mother's day, there is Father's day, memorial day, and independence day. Don't forget about Juneteenth, family birthdays, and summer vacation. 

How in the world am I expected to say in shape with all of these things going on in my life?

The problem with quick fixes and desperation is that the results may not be long-lasting. 

I'm not sure about you but when I'm desperate, my decision-making ability decreases. The decisions I make in a stressed estate are not the same as the decisions I make with a calm mind and clear heart. 

I've been there too. I didn't like how my clothes were fitting so I'd look up the quickest, most ridiculous diet on the internet. 

I never received lasting results from such approaches. Looking back, I wish I asked myself the following question: What will this approach cost my body and pocket? 

A lot of "miraculous" solutions are pricey. Starving my body is costly. Spending hundreds of dollars to damage my body and mind is a price I am no longer willing to pay. 

Six years ago I decided to go on a solo health journey. The journey would give me more than a "summer body," I gained the satisfaction of never having to look for a quick-fix solution because I was able to finally figure out how to live a healthy lifestyle continuously. 

When you live from fix to fix, it takes a minute to realize what true freedom looks like. In my case, a corporation didn't give me this. Plans and programs are tools. I'm the one responsible for the results I obtained. 

I recorded a podcast giving you more details on my solo health journey. You can listen to it here

If like me, you are too tired to try another expensive program again, listen to the podcast and reach out. Freedom is closer than you know. It is also free of charge because you hold the key. 

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Sunday Seven

 The beginning of Autumn invites introspection. I'm pondering:

1 • Am I using my time wisely? ~ I identify "time wasters" such as mindlessly browsing. Time wasters are measurable. Aren't you glad? It means we can improve! 

2 • Did I reach the fullness of my potential this week? ~ I never said these questions were going to be easy. Here is the thing. God gave me potential. He is not responsible to fulfill it. I am. Did I give my very best this week? 

3 • Did I listen for things unsaid? ~ Being quick to speak is a side-effect of not listening well to others. I stand guilty. This season, I'm learning the gift of listening. It requires different gear. It requires inner peace. It also requires radical acceptance and a lack of judgment.

4 • Did I serve my family well? ~ Jesus set the ultimate example of service. I am called to serve my family well. I can always improve. I can't improve what I won't recognize. This question is so important. Did I follow Jesus' example as I served my family this week?

5 • Did I get enough rest at night? ~ I am learning to rest well at night for a healthier day. I think better when I rest. I move, think and serve better. I can't get that type of rest from a pill so I learned to get enough rest at night. Living chronically tired is not for me. I opt for the opposite when I choose to rest.

6 • Did I make steps towards reaching my long-term goals? ~ 2023 will be here in 90 days. The best time to work on our goals is today. Each small step bears fruit if we choose to take them. 

7 • Did I cultivate gratitude from the heart? ~ Notice the question is not "do I have a gratitude journal?" Neither is "did I say thank you enough?" Gratitude is cultivated in the heart. Everything else is an accessory to what dwells in the heart.

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Sunday Seven

During times of change, I ask myself "What if I give myself to...?" often. 

1 • What if I give myself to... CrossFit? I'd stop being double
-minded about training. My focus becomes honing the skills that will lead me to my CrossFit goals. I still run and I will still love running. Come to find out, giving myself to CrossFit made me a better runner.

2 • What if I give myself to... the Bible? This past week, I had 10 hours available to listen to something. I decided to listen to the Bible. I found my soul was anchored in Christ. My heart was at peace. I saw details I missed during my times of reading and studying passages. When I give myself to the Bible, I gain more than I can ever give because God is generous beyond measure.

3 • What if I give myself to... my family? I had to say no to good opportunities that would take time away from my family. When I give myself to my family they get the best of me, not the rest of me. I want to be a good steward of the family God gave me. Love and nurture are spelled like this: T-I-M-E. There will be time for outside endeavors later on in life. For now, I'm giving my entire self to my people.

4 • What if I give myself to... preparation? Preparation for the upcoming week is my superpower. I decided that when I look at our schedule and prepare to succeed, life becomes smoother. When I give myself to laundry, food prep and other necessities, even busy seasons become sweeter. Preparation does not need to look pretty or perfect. It just needs to happen.

5 • What if I give myself to... self-care? I will be hydrated. I can't tell you how much the simple act of drinking water saved me from feeling awful lately. I will exercise. The body God gave me works better when I get stronger. That same body works better when I sleep enough hours at night.

6 • What if I give myself to... prayer. Simply put: God invades my earthly circumstances.

7 • What if I give myself to... God? I find that He will lead me and guide me in the way I should go. 

I encourage you to answer the "what if I give myself to..." question.

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Sunday Seven

Sunday Seven
 1 • Relationships are what we make them. Each person is responsible for one side of the relationship. We all carry our hurts, scars and pain. We carry joy, encouragement and peace too. We transmit all of that as interact in our relationships. Truly, we express what we went through. That’s why healing is so important. I am learning that the more I go to God for healing, the better my relationships with others can be.
2 • Only God can give me unadulterated love. He loves first and beyond measure. I am fully satisfied in His love. I am learning to grow in the awareness and acceptance of His incredible love for me. He loves me just as I am. He sent His Son Jesus to die for my sins. He rose victorious for my salvation. I’m incredibly grateful for God’s love for me.
3 • My family loves me beyond measure. They love me without prerequisites. They love me for who I am, not for who they want me to be. We are for one another. We champion one another. We were trained to encourage one another to pursue God’s best for our lives always. There’s peace when I live and experience this reality of family life.
4 • Every Christian is commanded to forgive. I was taught that forgiveness is not an option. I searched the Scriptures for myself and found it to be true. The more I understand forgiveness, the more I gladly choose it.
5 • Asking for forgiveness and showing repentance does not mean reconciliation. I experienced a complete shut down in friendships as a result. I am grateful for those lessons. Romans 12:18 became real during such times. As far as it is up to me, I was at peace with everyone. What everyone does in response to my request for forgiveness is outside of my control. Obedience to God is within my control. 
6 • Encouragement flows naturally as I truly listen to people. Listening requires stillness of mind and heart. It says, I have time for you. I am open to what you have to say, whatever it is.
7 • The more I read the Bible, the more I want to read it. This past week I read several passages repeatedly. I enjoyed reading and studying, learning and growing. I encourage you to truly invest time in the Word of God this week. It will transform your mind, if you allow it to do so.

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3 months of Georgia

Today we have been celebrating 3 months of living in Georgia.

The kids said it feels like we have been here longer. I agree. I like today's date because a wise friend told me that you feel a "switch" at month 3 after you move. 

Month 3 arrived softly this time. Peace has been the main feeling of being here at home. I am grateful.

Today was a regular Monday for us. I went to CrossFit. I didn't feel like going but all the preparation around me made it easier to show up and put in the work. I went back a second time in the afternoon to get some sports performance help. I'm grateful that we found a great CrossFit community. It's been better than I could have imagined. 

The kids had swim team practice this morning. We love having this as part of our summer routine. 

The church has been an incredible blessing. Everyone we met has been loving, honest and generous. We are deeply grateful to God. Serving Jesus is a joy.

Gratitude is the landmark I want to remember this month 3. I have so much to thank God for. No, life is not perfect. Still, my good days outweigh my bad days and I will not complain. 

Discovering Georgia has been fun. Just yesterday we sporadically found a nice spot for a family hangout. I know there are so many more places to see.

Adapting to a new hometown takes time. It is always a blessing when a house feels like home, a city feels like a community and a church feels like family.

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Navigating Bad Weeks

Bad weeks happen to good people. We don’t get to be defined by a bad week. Listen to this episode with helpful tips on how to navigate difficult weeks.

7 Lessons on navigating bad weeks 

 1 • Rejection comes to visit but it doesn’t have to stay. We don’t have to set a table and have coffee or tea with rejection. We can simply greet it and close the door again. Rejection is an unwelcome visitor. You can recognize the visit yet, we can also send the rejection back out. Rejection is not permanent. It does not have to stay. Self-compassion gets to stay. Encouragement needs to stay.

2 • Bad weeks happen to good people. We don’t get to be defined by a bad week. Our definition is deeper than the outside circumstances that came our way. It is helpful to ask: how does God see me? You will find encouragement as you answer this important question.

3 • If we don’t learn to navigate stress, stress will navigate us. Storms of life pass. We can’t control them but we get to control ourselves. How we choose to control ourselves is up to us. We are unique individuals. It is wise to find out what is uniquely effective and healthy during times of storm. Be wise in how you choose to nurture your mind and body during stressful times.

4 • Measuring my words has become increasingly important. I see more than I choose to say. I speak less because in an abundance of words a lack of wisdom is shown. Some words are meant to be said. These are often words of encouragement and prayers. Some words are not meant to be said. The wise person knows the difference between these two.

5 • Practicing gratitude instead of complaining is possible. It takes recognition followed by repentance, followed by reading (the Bible), followed by remembering to go through this process again. I’ve been writing about this process for the past year. God can truly transform us from complainers to grateful people.

6 • Preparation beats desperation. Taking the time to unglue our eyes and ears from needless stimuli gives us the freedom to prepare. 

7 • God is doing a new thing.

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Infallible

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands. Psalm 138:8 (ESV)

God teaches me gratitude lessons in unique places such as a Mexican restaurant. My husband and I were part of a church staff enrichment dinner. We were done eating our food of choice. Mine was taco salad. Our stomachs were cozy and we rearranged our seating so we could hear the speaker. His challenge to all in the room was to stop complaining for 21 days. 

I was shocked by the request while my husband jumped for joy on the inside. Zeke tried to tell me I was complaining a lot lately. I was shocked because I didn’t know what else I’d talk about for the next 21 days. Complaining was a prolific part of my vocabulary. It was going to be difficult to break that habit.

During those 21 days, God showed me my sin. I repented. I found the Bible to be a source of hope and strength. I started to read the Bible with renewed alertness for gratitude. I also needed to remember what I learned from God. I wish that was the very last time I ever complained about anything in life. Remembering this process is like taking a shower: you have to do it often because we get dirty daily.

Psalm 138 is a place where David could be complaining. The Bible tells us that many enemies were after the man after God’s own heart. Instead, David starts with words of thanksgiving and he finishes the Psalm with words of trust. 

Have you thought about offering a prayer of thanksgiving to God when your problems are many? I know we cry for help (and we should). What if, like David, we cry out with thanksgiving and trust? 

Here is my prayer inspired by Psalm 138:

“Lord, I thank you with my whole heart. I sing your praise before everyone great and small. I bow down before you. I give thanks to you because you magnified your Word about all your name. When I cried your name, not only you answered but you made me bold with strength in my soul.” 

Do you feel a sense of strength and trust rising within you? I certainly do. The word of God strengthens us more than any internet rant will ever do. I know. I’ve been there. Instead of going to God, who actually can do something about my problems, I lock arms with anger and let social media have it.

The result of my actions are guilt and shame because my human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires (James 1:20). It is okay to be angry. I sinned when I projected my anger on people who were having a perfectly positive day until they read my words online. I sinned when I didn’t trust God to give me wisdom before I was slow to listen, quick to speak (or type), and quick to get angry.  

David recognizes he is in the midst of trouble. He quickly expresses his trust in God’s salvation. 

“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;

You will stretch out Your hand

Against the wrath of my enemies,

And Your right hand will save me.” Psalm 138:7 (NKJV)

I appreciate David’s example because I’m often tempted to let a “prayer warrior” express trust in God for me. I’m sometimes tempted to let my Bible teacher or the preacher do something I can do for myself. I can verbalize my trust in God’s amazing power to save in the middle of my trouble. 

I can say a simple prayer such as:

“Lord I am in the middle of another mess. You have the power to stretch out your hand against all that is against me. I trust your right hand will deliver me.” 

God truly is just a prayer away. He is never too busy to listen to our prayers. He wants us to communicate with Him regularly. 

The last part of Psalm 138 is more for me than for God. He is all-knowing. He knows how I got to where I am and how He will deliver. I believe that I’m the one who needs to affirm God’s power and strength. 

I wrote Psalm 138:8 and I put it in a place where I can see it often (my kitchen). When Bible study is done and I go on with my day, I have the temptation to revert to my old ways. That’s when I need the reminder of God’s reliance and ability to do all things well. He is for you and me. He will see us through this challenging situation. 

Prayer: “Oh Lord, how we trust you. Your word is infallible. Your ways are higher than mine. I thank you for being better than I can comprehend. I say to my soul: The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. I say to you: your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake me, the work of your hands.”

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The Solo Health Journey

 

Sometimes, you have to go at it alone. I hope you find inspiration to take on a health journey!

Listen to this new series here:

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Pray more

 How do you include more prayer in your life on a regular basis? Enjoy this encouraging podcast:

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Don’t get frustrated: get focused

Listen to this episode here:

We were at the end of an hour of exercise at CrossFit. Jumping rope is not easy for me. Every time it comes around, I do the best I can. I believe the same thing happens to my fellow CrossFit friends. Our coach was paying attention to us and he said "don't get frustrated, get focused." 

Yes, we were getting frustrated with the rope. Frustration was a foe. It was not helping me to jump any better. I held on to those words. Don't get frustrated, get focused. 

We all get frustrated with something in life. Here are some practical ways to get focused:

• Identify the source of your frustration. Is it clutter? A particular skill you need to master such as rope climbing? How about the kid's room? Is there an area in your professional life you are frustrated with? How about your health? Identify the source of your frustration. Why?

Because frustration is there for a reason. So don’t dismiss or deny it but demand the lesson it came to teach you. I decided to go deeper and find out what are the accompanying feelings frustration brings. In my experience, the accompanying feeling of frustration is anger. Anger is the arch-enemy of focus.

I remember a season in life when I was frustrated a lot. While some areas of my life were okay, I lacked results in other areas because I just could not focus enough to live the life I wanted to live.

Ask yourself: what is the accompanying feeling frustration brings when it comes to me?

We’re all different. Identify how frustration works in your life. Some identify guilt and stop there. The reason to identify the feelings is so that you will learn and grow.

• Focus on how you will solve the problem. So let's say your problem is with clutter.  I found a system that I’ve used for almost 10 years. It works. My frustration with clutter is gone. In the same manner, I was frustrated with my weight. I’ve been using a system for the past 12 years and it works. My frustration with my weight is gone. Focus on the realistic, relevant steps you will use to solve the problem and go after it.

• Put it in your schedule. Adding things to our schedule is a sure way to get focused. Your schedule is meant to work for you. We are all familiar with the excuses we have not to get things done. One of them is kids. I’ve used this one too. Here is the problem: my kids are school-age so they are in school for quite a bit of the day. It is up to me to manage that time wisely. I am aware that some mothers and fathers homeschool. You too can manage your time wisely. I know some parents work outside of the home. Instead of using our limitations against us: let us remember that we have all we need to live the life God wants us to live. I am encouraging you and me to look at possibilities. Excuses will not get you results but focus, one step at a time will get you all the results you need. 

Next time you get frustrated, remember my coach's saying "don't get frustrated, get focused."

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Why not

Cleaning mirrors life. I enjoy cleaning because all the movement allows me to think. Today, I thought about how I am making sense of my new life and routine. 

We've been here for three weeks. Living in our new place has been lovely but it needs to be cleaned. I thought about several things as I cleaned today.

Decluttering has lasting perks. The main one is the fact that I didn't move trash across the country. Well, except for the one that literally came inside of the carefully wrapped trash can. Other than that, we were able to unpack and immediately find a place for our things. 

Moving means occupying a different space. I get to make peace with the fact that I get to use this home in a different way than I used the previous one. 

Storage spaces are different. The location of where those storage places are is different. I made a few initial decisions about where to store things. I believe in inhabiting a place for a while before deciding where things will go. Linens will go in the hallway storage while towels will be stored in the bathroom. 

Both items were stored in the same place in my old house. Different homes have different storage spaces. I physically get to use them differently. 

Lately, I've been wondering why I had a hard time saying goodbye to my old routine. I know some of my readers would remind me that I'm only human and change is challenging. I agree with you. I didn't want to stop there. I wanted to probe and find out why I wasn't open to the possibility of having a new routine. 

I decided to ask myself "why not" and try to do something different. It honestly felt like trying to stuff towels and linens inside one storage space while two are available. Different homes allow for different arrangements. 

I had to say "why not" to working out when the sun is out. I know. I'm the owner of the "beat the sun" club. We even have a Facebook page. The thing is, my priorities changed. My schedule changed because my family needs those early hours. I told myself "why not" try going when the sun is out.

It took some courage. So much so that my coach was wondering why I had a puzzled look on my face when I was about to start doing the WOD. "Your face looks puzzled. What are you looking for?" he asked. I answered, "courage." 

Courage is what I found at the end of the workout. It didn't kill me. It made me stronger, flexible and I learned more about myself. 

I learned that although change is challenging, I must answer its call. I learned that there is no merit in keeping things the way they were before. I must ride the wave of change and learn to flow with it. 

I always believed that transitioning to a new season of life is like rearranging a room. My dining room in the old house had tall ceilings, dark colors and some amazing paintings that made us happy. This house is bright and open. Instead of paintings, we thought the room needed photos that make us smile. 

We changed the furniture we keep in that room. We used the same pieces we had before. Some came from other rooms. Other pieces got a makeover. We are happy with the results. 

We had family over the other day and we used the room. Not one person wondered why we changed the way we arranged our room. The focus was on the smiles all across the room. Even during serious conversations, the focus was on hearing the heart. 

The room served its purpose, no matter how it was arranged. 

Now I'm wondering if like that room, my life can be arranged by God in such a way that it serves His purposes. 

I'm thinking I need to start by asking myself "why not?"

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How to recover from a busy week

Busy weeks happen to all of us. Not one is the same as the other. The thing is, we can learn and thrive after we have a busy week. How so? Listen to my latest podcast episode to find out!

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Sunday Seven

Today we leave our friends in Texas and move to Georgia. Here are seven reflections from this past week: 

1 • Friends are a treasure. My family and I have been blessed with friends who love us well. We had a chance to say what they mean to us and they told us what we mean to them. I've been undone. I didn't know a lot about what was happening when I met some of my friends. Their words of friendship and appreciation filled my heart with joy and my eyes with tears. 

2 • I cried a lot this week. Every time I move, I say goodbye to friends at parking lots. I've been crying a lot in parking lots and the crying continues inside my car. My tears are of joy and gratitude. To love and to be loved by faithful friends is a blessing I do not despise. I am immensely honored to have so many great people in my life.

3 • I was blessed to see my children's friends show how much they appreciate them. I believe that friendship is generational and we teach our children how to be good friends. I am grateful to the parents of these incredible kids. They are doing a great job demonstrating what real friendship is all about. Our family has been the recipient of such kindness, which is so humbling.

4 • I made a list of things to do before I leave Texas. It quickly turned out to be a "to eat" list. Haha! This week I had Texas barbecue, Texas sheet cake, and Texas trash. We went to Bucees and bought t-shirts. I bought an apron made with the Texas flag. How I loved my time here. Mostly because of the great people who became our friends. 

5 • My neighbors became my family. We lived in two great neighborhoods. I relied on neighbors from both places to help me. They let me come over and cry. They let me come over for coffee. They let me come over just because. My neighbors introduced me to their families. They invited me to be part of their lives and they gave me access to their heart. I can't thank God enough for my neighbors. 

6 • Moving wasn't overwhelming because I decluttered along the way. My family was very helpful too. Everyone lent a hand getting organized and prepared. Cleaning up our home wasn't as awful as I imagined it would be. We prayed a prayer of thanksgiving when we closed the door for the last time. God led us there on purpose. He is the same God leading us on.

7 • The adventure continues. While tears are part of the path, joy is the stuff that paves the way. The joy of the Lord is our strength. We strongly expect God to continue to be amazing to us. He is wonderful in all of His ways. He is leading us and we are following. 

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WW Story: the steps that got me here

I joined WW in 2010 after I had my second daughter. I loved everything about it. I lost around 30 lbs but our family couldn't afford the membership. After I cried my tears, I realized that I learned a lot from WW. So I kept doing what I learned. Because of that decision, I lost an extra 20 lbs. 

I quickly got pregnant with my third daughter soon after. I knew I didn't want to gain a lot of extra weight during my pregnancy so I made sure to keep walking and I added a lot of veggies to most meals. 

Once I had my daughter, I decided to start food journaling. I lost around 50 lbs simply following what I learned from WW. 

You'd think I lived happily ever after. The problem was, although I was active (I was running marathons), I was using food to manage stress. 

I tried to lose weight but I just couldn't. I told myself to do while I can and when I could afford it, I would rejoin WW. 

November of 2017 was the month I finally was able to join WW. I was at 175 lbs. I was just so happy to have my online membership. I followed the plan as best as I could. I was losing very slowly. 

What I didn't know was that because I was losing slow, I've been able to transform those new skills into well-established habits. What a victory. For the first time in a while, I was not gaining any weight back. I was on a steady trend to losing. 

I'm 7 lbs away from goal. I'm ready to remain faithful to the steps that got me here.

My top 3 tips for WW success

1 • Find out why you are gaining weight. When I found out that I needed to learn how to manage stress, it was easier to establish and keep new wellness habits. 

2 • Map your own road to success. I discover that if I track my meals, I succeed. I learned that activity helps and it adds a lot of quality to my life. I also learned that when I pre-package my meals, it is easier to get in my nutrition during busy weeks. 

3 • Enjoy the journey. It takes time to lose weight: you might as well enjoy the journey. Patience is a good thing to befriend. Contentment allows me to enjoy where I am on the way to where I am going. 

What I eat in a day

Breakfast 

Overnight oats with PB, frozen berries and sugar-free syrup, coffee.

Lunch

Grilled chicken, broccoli, mixed veggies, black beans, baby potatoes.

Dinner 

Grilled chicken salad.

Snacks 

Berries, tangerines, unsweetened apple sauce, chocolate protein shake.

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Lessons from friendship barriers

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Friendship Lessons can be difficult and costly. Yet, the fact that I learned from them means that growth has truly happened. 

Barrier 1: Silence • I like to call this one “ghosting.” Everything is going well until your friend “ghosts” you. There is silence or lack of communication. Because the nature of healthy friendships is to be a two-way street, silence is a friendship barrier. What to do? Assess the situation. Your friend may be going through a crisis or a difficult season in life. In this case, you need to apply empathy and lend a helping hand. Helping your friend means different things to different people. I have a friend who did not want me to come see her, although that’s what I would prefer. I respected her choice. My friend simply wanted to know that I was praying for her. Praying I did! Communication resumed when things got better. I have also experienced ghosting for the opposite reason. The person truly was not thinking about me. I was not needed in her life. So I took the silence as a sign. Although it hurt, I learned to respect that person’s request. I am here to tell you that we both have lived happily ever after. If someone does not want you in her life, learn to pray and release. There are better friends for you out there. Develop a mindset of abundance when it comes to friendships. 

Barrier 2: Passive-aggressive • The habit of expressing negative feelings indirectly instead of openly addressing issues is common in this friendship barrier. I’ve been in group situations where a conversation is happening and when it is my time to speak, one or several people look at me with a disgusted look on their faces. I’ve been in situations when I am doing something with a group and a passive-aggressive comment is made about what I am doing with the intention to damage me. I noticed that these actions are not direct, open and with the intention of achieving mutual understanding. I honestly am yet to think that a loving, honest conversation will fix these behaviors I described. Some people are not willing to reconcile, understand or get to know my side of things. I find that forgiveness is my priority because I am only responsible for myself. When their behavior persists, I recognize it in my own mind. I forgive and I let go. I let the person behave as she chooses. I remind myself that God sees. I remind myself that I am only responsible for myself so I show up as the authentic person God created me to be. I don’t insist on winning this person over because they are demonstrating their desire to demise my character. I release them with forgiveness and a prayer of blessing. I keep being kind and friendly to everyone around me. 

Barrier 3: Lies • Recently I had to work through this barrier with the additional challenge that an open conversation was not possible. In this case, I prayed a lot. I found counsel in this area. I turned the situation over to God and found peace in my heart. One of the greatest realizations I’ve had is that I am truly, only responsible for myself. If a person spreads lies about me and a conversation is not possible, I process it and I seek counsel. I forgive and go on living, knowing that God sees and He cares. I found great freedom with this approach. A situation of “he said/she said” taught me the value of being responsible for my actions. In this case, I asked the messenger to please allow me to know who made a complaint about me so I could set the record straight. I was told “no.” I felt sad, yet, I decided to be truthful to my word and continue to be an agent of peace and care. I took the situation as a clear reflection of the group of people involved. I find that when I collect situations as data points, my future decisions are wiser. For example, I learned that whatever I say among that particular group will be distorted. I also practice speaking the truth. Still, knowing that some are out to start confusion just informs my friendship decisions. While I wish that every situation was easy to solve, life is not that predictable. I learned that God’s Word is my anchor in life. God wants me to live in peace. He wants me to forgive. He also wants me to be wise. 

Barrier 4: Flakiness • I have a Master’s Degree in small talk but I know how to work myself to issues that encourage the heart. I’m not good with fluff, flakiness or shallow acquaintances. While I understand that it takes time to develop a deep friendship, flakiness is a barrier. How do I combat flakiness? I accept the person for what she displays. I remember trying to get to know a person. I listened closely to all the things she said. My listening was not so I could have my chance to speak nor was it so that I could become this person’s best friend. I listened to understand her. I learned she was in a challenging season in life. I learned she was looking for a completely different person than the person I am. I wished her well (internally) as I continue to encourage this person every time I see her. When flakiness is a barrier, I listen to understand. 

I want you to know that what has happened to you does not define the type of friend you are. All of us go through difficult friendship situations. See yourself as God sees you. You are a person of worth and value. You are a good friend. I’m sorry that friendship barriers came your way. The truth is, you are stronger because of them. You are able to continue to be excellent to others. You are a treasure my friend!

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Discipline leads to freedom

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I’ve been blogging for a long time. When I look at my blog posts from 19 years ago, I see that every time I apply discipline to my life, it leads me to success in my weight loss journey. How so? Let’s talk about that today at the Simply Cintia Podcast!

 

I appreciate you for listening to this episode:

Here’s the thing, I am really close to reaching my weight loss goal. The last time I checked, I am 9 pounds away from reaching my goal. I’ve been closer than that recently too. The beginning of the new year brought about some stressful situations. I handled them with homemade bread and large helpings of peanut butter. I have adjusted my eating habits and now I am even more determined to reach my goal. How am I planning to do that? I want to become more disciplined because discipline leads to freedom. Richard Foster says that Every discipline has its corresponding freedom. 

“Every Discipline has its corresponding freedom. If I have schooled myself in the art of rhetoric, I am free to deliver a moving speech when the occasion requires it. Demosthenes was free to be an orator only because he had gone through the discipline of speaking above the ocean roar with pebbles in his mouth. The purpose of the Disciplines is freedom. Our aim is the freedom, not the Discipline. The moment we make the Discipline our central focus, we turn it into law and lose the corresponding freedom.” Richard Foster 

Let’s unpack this statement:

• If I want to give a good speech, I need to learn rhetoric. Here is where discipline shows up: I can picture Demosthenes going to the beach each day. He takes off his shoes so he can get close to the cold water. In his hand, he has a lot of pebbles. He chose the smoothest ones possible but nonetheless, these are pebbles and they are heavy. He puts one by one in his mouth until it is full. 

 

• The goal is to speak above the ocean roar with pebbles in his mouth. Day after day, he goes to the beach, takes off his shoes, puts the pebbles in his mouth and practices speeches with a volume that challenges the ocean roar.

• The purpose is freedom. When Demosthenes has to stand in front of a crowd, he has reached the freedom to speak clearly and audibly so the person in the back of the room can hear him clearly. 

• Discipline leads to freedom. Our aim is freedom not the discipline. Friend, what is your aim? Let me tell you what mine is: My aim is to reach my weight loss goal. So how do I apply this scenario of walking to the beach with pebbles in my pocket each morning? How do I speak with pebbles in my mouth? 

In my case, I write down everything I eat in a food journal. I drink water (64 oz), I sleep 7 hours a night, I exercise. These are my disciplines. My goal is the freedom, not the specific things I just mentioned. 

So how do we get to freedom? We have to show up at the beach each day. I want you to think about the freedom you want. It might be in the area of finances. It may be a spiritual discipline. It may be in your professional life. Whatever you choose, please take the time to think about what do you want. 

What is your freedom? Then, I want you to imagine yourself as Demosthenes, going to the beach and taking his shoes off. What is your beach? That location for me, when it comes to the area of activity is my CrossFit box. I have to show up each day and train. In the area of food, I have to take my food journal seriously. I have to open it several times a day. I have to be honest about what I ate and how much I ate. That’s how I practically take my shoes off and show up. 

Last but not least, what are your pebbles? Pebbles are not meant to be in the human mouth. They are dirty, they are uncomfortable. They are not chocolate, okay? But pebbles served a purpose of training Demosthenes to be a great orator. Friend, what are your pebbles? 

In the food area, is the habit of honestly stopping to grab a pen and write down everything I eat. In the area of exercise, my pebble is the fact that everything in me wants me to stop or to go slow when I'm working out. When I decide to keep going faster until I’m done, the pebbles have served their purpose. 

When it comes to sleep, my pebbles get in my mouth when I make a decision to stop everything I’m doing to go to bed at the correct time. I feel pebbles in my mouth when I set my alarm and put my phone away from me in the bathroom. 

When I decide to go on to sleep and let everything else go out of my mind so I can rest and recover for another day. What is your pebble? Uncomfortable disciplines lead to great freedom. The goal is the freedom, not the discipline. The discipline will get you to freedom so don’t despise it. Do it with the freedom in mind.

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Sunday Seven

Black history is American History. It is world history. It is important and relevant. Here are a few quotes to inspire you. 

1. “Never be limited by other people’s limited imaginations.” —Dr. Mae Jemison, first African-American female astronaut.

2. “The cost of liberty is less than the price of repression.” —W.E.B. Du Bois

3. “Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly.” —Langston Hughes

4. “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” —Nelson Mandela 

5. “I can accept failure. Everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.” —Michael Jordan

6. “Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise. I rise. I rise.” —Maya Angelou

7. “One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.” —Michelle Obama

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WW Transformation Story

 Last week, I was highlighted in the WW App as their Transformation Tuesday star. I wanted to share a bit of this journey that led me to 33 pounds lost and counting. Enjoy this podcast!

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Motivation to declutter

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Every now and then, we all need a little encouragement to keep working on our homes. I have three practical words of advice to give you.  

The more I declutter, the easier life becomes. I started my decluttering journey 11 years ago when we moved to Texas. My journey started with frustration. Managing my bounty took a long time. I didn’t understand how I could not be magically organized. My husband wisely told me I lacked a system. My search started out of frustration. As I look back to where I started, I see that life became easier. The other day, I was decluttering my linen closet. Over the past year, I made several attempts to keep it decluttered. I didn’t succeed much. The thing was, the principles of decluttering I practiced were in place. Those principles allowed me to start and finish that project in 1 hour or so. I was happy, proud, amazed. The thing is, I should not have been. I’ve been working on the same decluttering principles for a while. The fruit is, life became easier. 

Repetition is the mother of all decluttering. Once I found a good system, I learned that I had to keep using it over and over again. Truly, repetition is the mother of all decluttering. Once I made peace with repetition, I was able to succeed constantly. I also made peace with the fact that my home is the type of place we use. We read books and we misplace them. We use pillows and covers. Kids can build forts. Adults can arrive from a long day and throw their clothes aside if they so choose. We are going to use this home to its fullest. It also means that I will have to declutter it all over again. If repetition is the mother of all decluttering, it is also the father of all organizing, the sister of all donating, the brother of all recycling (haha!), and the cousin of all tossing out. One aspect of being a family that is not glamorized is routine. We all have one. We all embrace it because it makes us who we are in this season. Likewise, embracing my chosen routine helps me to be successful. 

Seek ye first decluttering and everything else shall be added unto you. Before I clean, I declutter. Even if I don’t have an entire 45 minutes to work with. If my time is limited I can quickly put things where they are supposed to be. I can go for that visual impact and make a mental note to do a deep declutter later. Once I accomplish the decluttering goal, no matter how great or small, I clean. I find the habit of putting decluttering before cleaning to be better than the opposite. Sure, it might be a matter of preference. I prefer to be completely done with a room once I mop it. I do not want to go back and set it (or reset it). 

I am here to encourage you to put a little time into decluttering your spaces. Decluttering is something everyone can do, no matter how little time you have. If you work full-time or if you stay at home, you can declutter. You can always start small. 

A few months ago, my home felt a bit out of order. Yes, I was taking care of the dishes. You know the linen closet remained shut because I only got to it recently. I looked around my bedroom. The floor was picked up. The table on the side of my bed… uninspiring. There was too much stuff on top of it. My drawers could use some love. I spent 15 minutes decluttering. I only put a few items by my lamp: a vase for flowers. A ceramic jewelry tray I inherited from my late grandmother. I donated most of the clothes I stored in the drawers. I use the drawers to add my journals. I love to write before going to sleep so now they had a designated space. I smiled when I saw the finished product. A small project with great results.

So, now is your chance. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. You will thank yourself later.

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Conviction of love

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Cor. 13:4-8a (NKJV) 

I'm thinking about what love is these days. Every Valentine's Day, we celebrate with our kids. We make heart-shaped pancakes and strawberries.

Our family tradition is cute but what are traditions without a strong meaning to them? God is everything to us. The Bible is our foundation. We choose to focus on what God has to say.

I am teaching the kids what love is. I am using 1 Corinthians 13 as our main text. As I teach, I learn. 

The writer tells us what love is and what love is not. 15 different things he tells us. I've been examining my life. There is room to grow. Not everything I do is motivated by God's pristine love. The good news about Scripture is that conviction leads us to what can be. 

I can be more of who God called me to be. 

Love is an action. I've been examining my actions lately. Are they motivated by agape love? 

I know I am growing in gratitude. I sure don't display it at all times. I need to mature and grow in love. 

Love is sacrificial. This characteristic of love is not celebrated today. Some actions and daily choices made because of love are inconvenient and they require immense patience. Longsuffering is a better way to describe this love. Do I honestly display that at all times?

I'd be lying if I didn't admit I need to grow in this area. I want to grow in all I read in 1 Cor. 13. 

I am also completely grateful and satisfied with the love of God and my family. Zeke loves me so well. I've always been at peace with his love. We've been together for 18 Valentine's Days. I'm grateful. 

I'm grateful for the love of our children. I'm grateful that God gave Zeke and me a beautiful inheritance in our children. 

I'm grateful for friends who love us for who we are.

Love. God is. 

I want to be more of who He is. 

Happy Valentine's Day.

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