Diligence

"The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, 

while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied." Proverbs 13:4 (ESV)

The past 150 plus days have been challenging to say the least. I remember wanting to write here more. My time was spent caring for my sweet family and working a lot. I quickly realized that if I didn't take care of myself, I wouldn't last. 

I became diligent to take care of myself. Why diligence? Diligence is steady and careful application, proper attention or care. Diligence is the degree of care required in a given situation. 

My given situation was not simple but worthy of diligent effort on my part. I was working full-time, in and out of my home and the kids needed to complete their online learning. The house needed to be cleaned. All our food needed to be cooked. I also knew I had to take care of my health instead of letting go of my nutrition and fitness goals. 

I made up my mind to be diligent. I would set goals for each one of those areas and I would apply myself steadily and carefully. Here's what diligence looked like in the mentioned areas:

Work - I decided to do my best during work hours. I decided to fully focus on each task at hand. I decided to remember that I could stop and continue to work the following day. 

Kids school - I decided I was not going to be school junior. I'm one person. At school, my kids have access to multiple professionals to help help them. I'm one person. I decided to do my best to help them but I knew I was never going to measure up to the help they get a school. This simple thought freed me to be myself and to help them the best I could. I created a schedule for the kids to complete their work. I reminded them to work hard and have fun later. Thank God, they worked hard and finished well. 

Housekeeping - I can write about this topic endlessly. I will tell you about my linen closet. It was driving me crazy for 150-something days. It was disorganized and (surprise) I didn't have time to clean it. I realized that we were not using that closet as much as we used other areas of our home. I left the linen closet alone and focused my energy on the rest of the house. I also realized that my kids can actually help me to get the house cleaned. I counted on their help and we all enjoyed our home as a result. The week before the kids went back to school, I was able to find some extra time. I decided to dedicate it to the linen closet. It is now clean and organized. The big lesson was to focus on the areas we all used. Ask for help. Wait until there is extra time to dedicate to projects such as a closet most people will never see.

Food - my husband and I took turns cooking for the family. He is so good, I wonder why we ever consider going out to eat. We created a menu and we truly enjoyed all our family meals. It took diligence to create a menu, shop for the ingredients and actually cook the food. The result of diligence in this area meant family togetherness. 

Health - I decided to take my health seriously by attending WW virtual meetings and putting in the effort to care for my health. It was hard but I got healthier during covid. I will always remember this experience as my "I can" season. I can succeed although life seems uncertain. I can take care of my health despite stressful times. I can because I want to be healthier to serve God and my family. 

Fitness - this actually kept sane. I've always said running is for sanity not vanity. I enjoyed getting out and just running for fun. 

Is there an area of your life that needs proper attention and care? I suggest diligence. It is a concept that can't be bought. You need to decide you want it bad enough to take steps towards succeeding. I am here to tell you that no matter how difficult the circumstances around you, you can thrive with diligence inside you.

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When Spiritual Discipline is Tough

Let's put on our humanity for a second and agree that sticking with Spiritual Discipline can be tough. What I call Spiritual Discipline, you may call quiet time. You also may call it devotional. Whatever the label, making it a habit is challenging.  

What is the secret of the super saints? You and I know there are those among us who never fail at their Spiritual Discipline habit. Or so we think.

Everyone gets discouraged: Moses got mad. Elijah hid. Esther hesitated in doing what God called her to do. Peter and the disciples fell asleep at the top of the mountain. Ops!

We also have examples of people who did great. They remind us of what is possible. Daniel prayed three times a day. Jesus prayed early in the morning. John Wesley's mom kept the prayer habit going while mothering and homeschooling 17 children.

So what is the secret of sticking with Godly habits day in and day out? I'd say try a couple of things but do not fail to start with this:

1. Ask God to help you. I'm not sure if a lot of us who are trying to connect with God, ask Him for help. God will speak to you and He will give you the strategy you need to make this work. 

2. Start small. Everyone has a spiritual superhero. The one I admire prays for 4 hours a day. I can't begin to tell you that I would love to do that but right now, I'm working full-time, I have a business of my own and I have a husband and kids. These are not excuses, these are facts of life. Starting small means starting where I am. Praying before everyone wakes up. Once the kids are grown, I bet I'll be able to carve more and more time to pray. Will I start at 4 hours? I'm sure it would be wonderful. Starting small is also a wonderful thing to do. God does look at the heart, not at the number of hours we are trying to pile up in prayer. 

3. Ask a friend you admire how they make it work. I often ask like-minded people about their devotional life. I ask my mentors questions. They tell me how they made time for God when their kids were little. I learn a lot from my friends, family, and mentors. I'm here to tell you that there are people out there who are seeking God and pressing on to know Him. Ask them questions. 

4. Got interruption from kids? Ask them to join you! I never forgot about the story of John Wesley's mom. She trained her kids to know that when she had her apron on top of her head, they were to give her some space because she was praying. She was also hands-on with their Christian education. If you find that your kids are interrupting you, ask them to join you. The word of God is for everyone. The spirit receives it with joy. There is nothing wrong with exposing kids to what you read in the Bible as well as letting them hear your prayers. Thank God I heard the prayers of my mother. I'm seeing the answers right now. How would I know unless she involved me in her devotional life? 

5. Set an alarm. If you have a problem remembering to set aside time for God, set an alarm as a reminder. When that alarm sounds, grab your Bible, get on your knees, get in the presence of God. Soon, this will become a habit and you will not need the alarm. 

6. Start with 5 minutes and increase the amount of time slowly. If spending time in Spiritual Discipline is a foreign concept to you, start with praying and reading your Bible for 5 minutes then increase the amount of time slowly. The goal is to slowly "taste and see that the Lord is good." 

7. Join a group - When I want encouragement, I join a group. When I joined a Bible study group, I was encouraged to study the Bible on my own. I was also surrounded by people who like me, wanted to spend time with God on a regular basis. The group can't do Spiritual Discipline for you but they can encourage you to do it. 

8. Read a book - There are wonderful books about studying the Bible, prayer, and fasting out there. I often read books related to each discipline. Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster covers them all and he will stretch your thinking too. If you want other book recommendations, send me a message and I will give you some solid books to read. The books I read are recommended by my mentors. These books really helped me pursue God with more passion and joy. These books are simply a tool. The Bible is my main book. God is the One I seek to know, worship, and serve with joy. 

9. Teach what you learn - The best way to master a subject is to teach what you learn. If you have kids, teach them. If you have friends, tell them about what you are learning. If you are a Sunday School teacher, teach your students. I know you have a lesson plan. You can enhance that lesson with the things you are learning from God as you practice Spiritual Discipline. Our faith in Jesus is active. Jesus always taught many things. We need to teach others too. It doesn't take a degree or an actual classroom. We are called to spread the good news of Jesus by simply teaching what we learn. Teaching can be as simple as a conversation with a friend who is feeling stuck in her devotional life. "Have you thought about reading the Bible?" is something I often ask. Then I tell her the why (if you want to know God, you need to read His Book) and how (I recommend a 15-minute Bible reading plan). I'm encouraging you to teach what you learn my friend. 

10. Don't let yourself get lazy - As a Bible lover and teacher, I hear people sometimes say they get lazy with their Spiritual Discipline. Getting lazy is the same thing as knowing you have to sweep a room and you don't quite do it well. There's dirt in the corners. The broom did not cover every square inch available. Just a lazy type of job! Getting lazy is different than getting discouraged. The lazy person will crack their Bible open. They'll check the reading on her to-do list. They will go to Bible Study and complain that the reading is boring. The solution is not to let yourself get stuck in that place. When you feel yourself getting there, ask God to help you. Tell Him how your heart feels. You basically say, "restore unto me, the joy of thy salvation." God will answer your prayer and give you Divine direction. Reading the Bible is not supposed to feel like an amusement park ride daily. It is also not meant to be boring. As you ask God for direction, He promises to lead you and guide you in the way you should go. God will challenge your mind and your understanding of His word. He will take you deeper than before. It is up to you not to let yourself get lazy and continue in the most rewarding journey you can have on this side of life. 

I sincerely hope these tips can help you be encouraged in your Spiritual Discipline. Let me know if you try any of these and what you discover. One thing I know for sure, God is a rewarder of those who seek Him. He will be found by you my friend. 

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Fashion Daily

I'm amazed at how my sense of fashion changes every year.
During my stay-at-home mom years, I lived in exercise clothes but I dressed up on weekends (because, church).
Once I became a working mom, I retired my tights and business casual was the way to go.

Each job I had required a different type of dress code. I'm thankful there was always room for creativity and comfort.

This year, I was blessed with a new job and I realized that again, I had a chance to establish my sense of fashion.

I enjoy being comfortable. I also enjoy dressing up on occasion. My fashion choices for 2018 have reflected these two facts.

Another thing I've enjoyed in 2018 are trips to the thrift store. My job changed allowed me to find a new area of shops. It's been great finding frugal treasures there.

Last weekend, I found a bunch of clothes on clearance for $2. I couldn't be happier. I also found comfy shoes. Thrifting has been great. Oh, I also maintain the one in one out rule. If one piece of clothing comes in, we need to donate (or sell) something else.

My fashion goal is to represent my God and my family well. I will never be a fashion model but I model my Lord Jesus everywhere I go. Okay, I am a model for my kids. They watch me and we often talk about fashion.

The most important fashion accessory I have is a confident and modest heart. 

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Teaching Kids to Win when they Lose

The kids and I in May of 2014

If Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, awards for things I know my kids won’t win is the worse time of the year. Let me fully explain.

We are an awards obsessed culture. If I sign up for a race and I don’t get a medal, the race director certainly gets the side eye. I even feel that I need awards for doing simple things such as cleaning my toilets. I am doing a great job reflecting the culture I live in. I’m human and I’m very good at it. Back to the kids.

I am all for kids earning awards that make a difference. Honor roll means my kid did their homework and mastered the material. I also have been the kid who did not master the material and had to repeat a grade. I didn’t cry about not having awards back then because I was old enough to understand what I got myself into. I also did not come from a family/culture that was awards obsessed. Back to the kids again.

I get sad when my kids cry because they did not get an awards that in their 3-year-old mind, makes an immediate difference. I’ve been through this so many times that I decided that if talking doesn’t work, I was going for the “Listenbee Company Incentive Plan.” Here’s how the plan worked:

Year 1: the 3-year-old balled her eyes out. I told her we’d try harder next year. We did try harder that following year.

Year 2: the 4-year-old still didn’t win and she balled her eyes out again. I affirmed her efforts and I introduced our Company’s Incentive Plan.

Year 3: the 5 year-old no longer cried but the whole Incentive Plan backfires because the youngest Company member who was now 3 balled her little eyes out. She quickly composed herself when she heard there was a great Company Incentive Plan on the table.

You and I know that there is very little that 3-year-olds do for themselves. The real people winning awards are parents. I respect a parent’s eagerness and competitiveness as well as their own Company Incentive Plans. I decided after Year 1 that I was not going to lose my peace and joy because of such temporary awards. I still want my child to be a great participant. I remind my little ones each year that the greatest lesson we learn is how to be truly happy for others. The richest lessons in life my friends are learned in these vexatious circumstances. Can you truly be happy when you lose?

Living in an award obsessed culture has taught me to be creative when parenting my children. I teach that the only reward we want to attain comes from a God who one day will say “well done.” I hope my kids and I hear “well done feeling happy in your heart for that person who won the award you wanted so much.” If strength of character is what we get from this experience, I’m okay with that. Oh, let’s not forget that Listenbee Company Incentive Plan that totally rocks. The plan is to celebrate their year of hard work at Chickfila. We hardly go out to eat, so you can imagine their joy when they hear this Company Incentive is on the table.  

How do you help your kids navigate through the reality of not winning?

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10 ways to find Time to do what you Love

 

Time: we all have it but somehow we are often looking for it. Because we are in the beginning of a new year, I hope to inspire you with 10 ways to find time to do what you love.

1 - prioritize - if you have many priorities, you have no priority at all. By definition, a priority is the right to precede others in order or rank. Decide what is your one priority and focus on that one thing. Running has been a priority for the past 13 years so I focus on that instead of focusing on other things I could be doing.

2 - set goals - the result you get from prioritizing your efforts towards doing what you love is your “goal.” Setting goals is a great way to find time to do what you love because goals are like maps: they give you direction and margin as you focus on your objective.

3 - do not procrastinate - one of my greatest discoveries many years ago when I came to America was the definition of the word “procrastination.” I learned that if I finish what I start I will most certainly win the battle against procrastination. Once you and I prioritize and set our goals, it’s important not to procrastinate but to do that which requires our immediate attention. The more you fight against procrastination, the better you become at finding time to do what you love.

4 - get organized - but do it the savvy way. I’m not talking about organizing your sock drawer but getting organized to do what you love. When it comes to running, I make sure all my clothes and shoes are ready to go. When it comes to writing, I make sure all my supplies are ready to go so I can simply write during the time I set apart for that pleasurable activity.

5 - ask for help - living in community is a beautiful thing because you find people who are willing to help you do what you love. Those great individuals can be great assets when you are finding time to do what you love. I often ask for help so I can have one hour to write or read uninterrupted. Recently I have asked friends to help me brainstorm a concept for a book idea. When it comes to running marathons, I have asked friends to help me for a few hours so I can train or compete. I have learned that asking for help elevates the human spirit and it connects us as community.  

6 - have all you need? - there is nothing worse than setting out to do an assignment and spending half of the time looking for your supplies. Be sure to have all you need in order to do what you love. Take inventory and have that list available so that your time is well spent.

7 - put it in your schedule - most things I write down in my schedule happen. I have the habit of putting the things I love in my schedule. This habit reinforces the fact that I have a goal. It also helps me make them a priority. I also go the extra step and keep that schedule visible so that I have that constant reminder of what I need to do.

8 - prayer - Telling God about your desire to do what you love is a great thing. After all, He did say we should pray about everything. I often go the extra step and ask God to help me make time to do what I love. Those few hours a week make the overall fabric of life richer and joyful.

9 - resting - a tired body is not capable of working to its fullest potential. You and I will do what we love more efficiently when we are rested. Rest is a discipline because you need it daily. I have been challenging myself to rest when I am not asleep. I take a body check and try to perceive any tension. I let go of the tension and proceed with a more restful mind and body. I throw a prayer in the process because God is the only One who can keep me in perfect peace as my mind is fixed on Him because I trust in Him. I know that the key to do what I love well is to rest well.

10 - recalibrate - we are not robots so we need to step back and recalibrate often. When it comes to finding time to do what I love, I recalibrate every weekend. I look at the week ahead and I plan the time I will spend doing what I love. I devise carefully about what strategy I will use in order to make my good habit happen. If your desire is to cook more often, the day before going to the grocery store is a good time to recalibrate. You may take inventory of your supplies. You may plan your menu. You may think about meal prepping. I ran my fourth marathon Sunday so I am deep in the process of recalibrating for the next marathon season. I am resting my body and my mind. I am rethinking everything from gear to training plan to nutrition. I am certain that I will have a better approach to long-distance running if I take the time to recalibrate.

Now is the time to do what you love. I hope you find these tips helpful. Let me know if they work for you and how so. Have a productive day my friend!

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My Weight Loss in 60 Seconds: 40 Weeks

Today I want to encourage you to reassess your goals. There is a lot of time left to conquer your dreams this year. The key is to believe you can. Here's another video on the series My Weight Loss in 60 Seconds. Enjoy! 

Disclaimer: This journey is a process, not an event. Weight loss is not my full-time job. I'm a wife and mother first. Still, I am working on being a healthier wife and mother. In this journey I make many mistakes and learn from them. I am humbled by God's grace which empowers me to succeed. My hope is that you find encouragement to take small steps towards being a healthier you. There's only One who's perfect so I pressed towards the calling I have in God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Related Content:
• Goals: Starting Fresh

Previously in this Series: 
• Bouncing Back
• 3 Words
• The Beginning
• Exercise
• 2012 Video Archives

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Vision Boards, an Evolution

My health coach encouraged me to keep an account of everything that went into my mouth. I used to write it in this pretty journal:

Food Journal 2007

I also used to keep up with this little thing. I marked how many fruits, veggies, dairy, protein, etc I had for the day.

Food Journal 2007

Between pregnancies I tried to keep my writing habit going but it was really challenging. I used to post it on my refrigerator so I'd see it often. Notice the (ancient) photo of us with one kid only!

Food Journal 2009

When I joined Weight Watchers I also kept great notes on what I ate. They went a little further and encouraged me to dream a little higher. I was thinking beyond a number in the scale. 

Weight Watchers form from 2011

When I left Weight Watchers I decided to stick with what works for me. I slowly but surely lost the habit of writing down EVERYTHING I ate but I kept losing weight for the most part. I decided to have Vision Board but I enhanced mine a bit. I try to include my goal and how I am going to get there. I also include my weekly weight so that I can get encouraged with my progress:

Vision Board 2012

This year I decided to add my rewards for the year. It will be fun to have something to look forward to as I lose weight. Thus far my reward has been to fit in pre-pregnancy clothes.

Vision Board 2013

I believe that everyone's Vision Board should be special and taylor made. What motivates you do not motivate me, that's one of the reason's why everyone's boards should be different. I called this post an "evolution" because I moved from a strickt form to a freer approach to weight loss. Yes, I could write down every single thing I eat on my diary but I decided to do without an extra stress in my life. I have also decided that I will not write down everything I eat for the rest of my life, I will learn how much I'm supposed to eat in order to live a healthy life. I learned a lot from writing things down in the past but currently I feel like writing down my exercise, having a vision board and eating a healthy diet is all I can afford and is giving me results. That's the magic word my friends, results. Vision Boards are worthless if the board's owner is not doing the work that gets results.
It started in my mind. It had to be renewed. All the other fun and glittery stuff just makes my journey prettier. The essential thing was to renew my mind. That my friends was my first step to a healthier journey.
QUESTION • Do you have a Vision Board? Have you thought about the relationship between the renewed mind and a healthier lifestyle? What are your thoughts on that?

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Housework, my way

Today I thought I'd take a personal moment and tell you about housework. I have been a pretty organized person. I think I stepped up a notch when I had kids. Motherhood brought about wonderful things and one of them was the need to be organized. Don't get me wrong, my files need to be organized, my desk needs to be cleaned (again) but I found the nice balance of being organized enough to find what I need when I need it.

My first goal is never to get overwhelmed. Freaking out is counter productive. I often head that way and that's when I say 'my life didn't used to be this way.' I repent for not doing what i know I should and I just take small steps. I bought an hour glass (I love those things) and I time myself. I say: I will clean my office for 1 hour. It's amazing the amount of work that it gets done. Small steps work. 

Another thing that seems to help with the kids closets is to simply finish what I start. I wash and immediately hang their clothes. No need for desperation, we can find clean clothes when we need them as well as diapers (no potty training has happened yet) and other supplies. Buying a caddy for the bathroom has helped me keep their grooming tools organized. It's the little things that make a huge difference when I'm trying to bathe, feed and nurture. 

When it comes to house cleaning, my theory is: if it doesn't get dirty, there's less need for me to clean. We use some rooms less than others, which makes cleaning easier. I don't follow a cleaning routine but what I try to do is that my house is 'guest ready' often. I am training the kids to pick up toys after they play and that's a lot of help. I try to have dishes under control and it seems that if I do, everything is much easier. They key here is to set a goal and finishing what I started. 

I am often asked how in the world I have time to take care of two kids 2 and under, blog, take care of a house and lead worship at church. The key is really to know what the priorities are. Progress, not perfection is my goal in this area of life. I need to point out that my husband helps me a lot as well. I am very thankful for Zeke. Our house doesn't look like it could be in the cover of Martha Stewart Living but it is a place of peace, love and it's 'livable.' I've had enough heartache freaking out about dishes that need to be done. I have decided to seek God, take care of family and work on progress and not perfection when it comes to this house. Finishing what I start seems to work for me. How do you balance your house work and your other duties?

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The Social Media Break

It sounds crazy but it worked for me. Here's what happened:

Who? Me
What? Took a Social Media Break for a Week
Why? To recalibrate
Where? Computer, smart phone.
How? *Logged off major social media sites. I still logged my miles (dailymine.com) but did just that, not much interaction. oh, also ignored FourSquare updates from friends.

* I still did Social Media consulting during that week but no mindless browsing. 

Benefits? I Checked out of intense social media usage and as a result I had a chance to:

1. Think Outside the Box • I had a chance to look from the outside in, evaluate my usage and go for effectiveness.
2. Take a New Approach to Life • when you find a new balance, it pays off to use it in your every day life. Some old habits had to go and the new habits are now a part of life.
3. Read More • My kids and I love books, so we read more real & digital books. Reading refreshes me.
4. Live a Qualitative Life • Because I wasn't 'numb' from my intense social media usage I had more intention to enjoy life without having to report on it. Smelling the rain for example was highly enjoyable as well as resting from all my activities.
5. Manage Stress • This is the story of my life. I really believe that if I manage stress well, the quality of my life in the next 20 years will improve a lot. I paid close attention to my stress level and for a whole week I found healthy ways to deal with it. I ate pretty well, rested more and I fought stress with exercise. Check out my miles from last week:

My mileage for the month of June. Take this stress!

Instead of eating my stress away, I made the conscious effort to run/walk it away. It seems to be working.
I want to encourage you to challenge yourself and look at every area of your life. Is there room for improvement? If the answer is yes, work at it. It's just June people. There is plenty time to work on adding more quality to your life.
News: • Tomorrow I will be hosting the Barney Butter Giveaway here on the blog, so come back for a chance to win! • Do you have a question for a Professional Counselor? I am working on a Podcast titled: "Counseling Demystified: Benefits for Individuals and Families" and I would love to ask your questions!

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Weight Watchers Wednesday

Hope you enjoyed the video! Here are a couple of meals I've had this week:

Peppermint tea, banana, peanut butter, rice cake

Oatmeal with cinnamon & banana, decaff with 1/2 cup of 1% milk

lentil soup with kale

Shepherd's Pie

What small steps will you take towards a better health? Tell me one.

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Eu, ele e a R.A.

Eu e ele estamos fazendo redução alimentar (R.A.) e exercícios. No passado eu já fiquei muito frustrada por ele não fazer R.A. O que eu aprendi é que por mais que eu o ame, não é sábio forçá-lo a mudar só pela minha vontade. A inspiração pra mudar tem que ser iniciada dentro dele mesmo. Essa é a única maneira dessa mudança durar. 

O bom de nós estarmos fazendo isso juntos é que ganhamos mais uma coisa em comum. Quando eu estava fazendo a R.A. sózinha eu ganhei muita perseverança e também desenvolvi um respeito muito grande pelas escolhas dele. Aprendi a continuar na minha jornada sem precisar de ter uma "muleta".

Mudança tem vindo com tempo e paciência. Cada casal vive de uma forma. O bom é que concordamos que queremos ser uma família mais saudável e a minha oração é pra que meus filhos sigam o nossos passos e ultrapassem a nossa vontade de ter uma vida abundante. 

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Beauty Defined

Hair bows, cute shoes, purses... a girl can never have too many accessories. They were meant to enhance the way we look, not to make us beautiful. Having a daughter has made me think on issues of beauty. For a few years, my girl won't have an idea about beauty standards out there, she will just 'be.' Indeed she is beautiful. My daughter is the pure definition of beauty. I am so thankful to God for giving me the responsibility to be a stewart over her life! Making sure she has a healthy view of beauty is part of my awesome responsibility. 

As I walk away from my second gestation, I choose to believe there is true beauty involved the process. I say 'I choose to believe' although it doesn't feel like it some of the time. The people who compliment you on your pregnant looks are kind while having no clue about hemorrhoids, stretch marks, heart burn at 3 a.m. and exhaustion! Yeah, that belly looks nice but the body goes through major changes that affect the mind and the way I view myself. I choose to believe the harshness of these changes in my body adds to the beauty God has given me as a woman. Being imperfect in the eyes of the world draws me nearer to the way God wants me to be.


See, true beauty doesn't come in a container of anti-stretch marks cream. It comes from the inside. A great example of beauty in the Bible is mother Sarah. She was physically beautiful if you remember her story. I think she is now remembered not by her looks but by her 'hidden woman of the heart:'


"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do." I Peter 3:3-6 (NLT)


As a recap, Unfading Beauty comes from: 
• Trusting God
• Respecting your husband
• Having a gentle and quiet spirit
• Not being afraid 


Sarah was not called beautiful because she went to spinning class at 5 a.m. She was not called beautiful because she wore Ann Taylor and had beautiful hair. She cultivated a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. I choose to believe there is strength and confidence in this gentle and quiet spirit we need to have. God help me.


True beauty comes from fearing the Lord. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. With the birth of my daughter I feel like I step up in a new level of responsibility when it comes to teaching my daughter the true meaning of beauty. I pray for wisdom to walk in true beauty as an example to my children.


"Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God." Proverbs 31:30 (The Message)

Please add dark circles to my list. Feeding the little princess at 1:30 a.m. and many times after will cause that. Add highly favored to my list. Being able to birth a daughter will cause that. 

*This is a picture of me burping my daughter. My husband put this flower in my hair. He keeps reminding me of how beautiful I am. I thank God for a man who appreciates me and loves who I have become.

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Zombie Mom

by guest blogger Christina Hebert

Crying baby.

You realize your clothes are dirty and you don’t care.

Hair is a little on the greasy side.

You’re in pajama pants because you can’t seem to fit in any pants you own.

Bra is stuffed with breast pads because you can’t seem to control your “flow”.

You cuddle with a Boppy pillow and cling to your baby for dear life and realize that this Boppy pillow DOESN’T stop the pain in your back.

When you stand up you shuffle around the house like Ogre, because you don’t know how to stand up straight.

Your computer becomes your online link to the outside world.

Mommy bloggers make you sick with their enthusiasm.

Dishes can speak to you now, as they have a block party in your kitchen sink.

You stop and realize “Who am I?”

Sound like you at this very moment?

At this moment realize that you aren’t the only one in this EXACT same situation. This is an epidemic and its called “ZOMBIE MOMS”

Zombie Moms fall under the list mentioned above. They are no longer the beautiful vibrant women they were before children. That woman is tanning on a beach with a margarita somewhere in your brain and wants nothing to do with the havoc that is happening at the moment.

Zombie Moms go through the motions of childcare and increase in mass. They let the trials of motherhood overwhelm them and can’t seem to find the happiness in the blessing that has entered their life.

Do you know a Zombie Mom? Maybe. They choose to live indoors. You might catch the rare being in the line at a fast food restaurant. You can spot this mom by the baggy sweatpants she is wearing on a 90 degree day, the greasy hair that for some reason she is wearing down because Zombie Moms have no realization of “dirty” hair, and they live behind large sunglasses.

How to conquer to Zombie Mom epidemic?

One word: MOVE.

Such a small easy word with potential to change lives. As a mother of 2 under the age of 2, I have been lost many a times in the Land of the Zombie Moms.

Now to truly the conquer the Zombie Mom, you can NOT use wooden stakes, silver bullets, whiskey, margaritas or self help books.

You need SUNLIGHT, MOVEMENT, and a SHOWER.

Seems simple? Not to the Zombie Mom.

Here are 3 steps into beating the Zombie Mom and Bringing back the Mom that has been tanning on the brain beach.

• Either have a stroller or sling/wrap to transport Zombie Mom offspring.

• Water. Like the witch from the Wizard of Oz, it has strong affects on melting the zombie skin off.

• Now walk. Nothing spectacular. Start with 30 minutes a day.

By this point the Zombie Mom virus is in reverse effect. Color is coming back to the skin, muscles are starting to support the body, the vibrant lady on “brain” beach is peaking through.

At this point Zombie Mom is now MOM, but that is not good enough. Mom needs to be YOU again.

Since you are no longer in “Zombie” status you have more energy and can use that energy to regain that body you had before baby. This process takes the longest but comes with the greatest rewards.

Next steps to feeling like YOU again:

• Start a DVD workout program

• Choose one of the many workouts published in your lovely collection of magazines that are taking over your kitchen counter.

• Find a local Stroller Strides class, meet other “Zombie” Moms in recovery while teaching your child to socialize.

• Give yourself a goal of the daily 100: 20 squats, 20 pushups, 20 crunches, 20 jumping jacks, 20 sec plank hold. Each week increase 100, 200, 300 etc.

• Most important is to NOT stop MOVING, and continue to push the limits on your movement.

Unlike the zombie movies we watch there is an END. How and when you get there is up to you. No one can force you to do anything you truly don’t want to do. But there is that vibrant woman in there that wants to be let out. She lives behind the tears & anguish that you let consume you. Be yourself again by doing your body good. No book, craft, or job will bring your back to yourself. Only working your body, boosting endorphins and sweating out the “weakness” will you bring out that strong confident woman that is now a mother.

Now decide your fate will you be the Zombie Mom conqueror or roam with the pack of other “Zombie” Moms?

Choose your own destiny.

Christina Hebert describes herself as "Mommy of 2 crazies, Military Wife, Triathlete, Sexy Lifestyle Advisor, I drink sweat for breakast." You can follow her blog www.seemomrunbikeswim.com for more inspiration! 

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Stretching Reality

I didn't get stretch marks til the very, very end of my first pregnancy. I was so surprised to see them cause the nurses in the clinic kept complimenting me for not having them. Well, this time around I'm starting and finishing the journey with them. 

It may seem silly but the first thought I had when I saw that population of stretch marks on my belly was 'I will never be able to wear a two piece again!' I had accomplished that dream when I was in Florida for a summer internship. I was in shape so I gave the two piece thing a try. I'm glad I have pictures to prove I was once able to do it. Oh, I also got a mean tan. Yes, Black people like me can tan. I prefer the beach to a booth tough. 

At this point you are probably thinking: 'stretch marks don't matter, what matters is the healthy baby' and I know all that to be true. The fact is, if you have them, chances are you don't love them. I asked my doctor about stretch mark creams and he told me 'those creams do not work.' True enough. I still kept using them just because my skin was extra dry in the winter. The stretch mark deal doesn't bother me so much that I'd spend thousands of dollars in treatment. 

Putting things in perspective, the healthy baby is the most important thing about  pregnancy, not the fact that I can have a photo with my children next to me on the beach and the girls are all wearing bikinis. Some things in life are inevitable and stretch marks during pregnancy are it for me. I'm glad I have a husband who loves me for who I am. I am glad my children can care less about the marks I carry in my body. They love me for me. 

I am starting to think that instead of depressing symbols of what I can't do, they should be badges I wear with pride. I paid the price to carry new life into the world and there is nothing wrong with looking normal. There's an extra person I am growing inside of me so I dare not look the same. Good for you, you NEVER get to see them :)

I commit to look in the mirror and think: someone special has been formed in your womb and your whole body stretched to accommodate new life, new hopes, possibilities and dreams. 

• How many of us want the good stuff in life but refuse to go through the stretching process that will bring out the new?

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