Thoughts

1. It is no surprise to the readers of this blog that racism is wrong. The current climate in the U.S. and the world is also not surprising. I'm eager to see what people will do with the knowledge they are acquiring. 

2. I'm having all of my conversations about race in person. There's a lower margin for error. People can really hear my heart. I can also hear theirs and together, we are growing. 

3. Running has been amazing. I always say it is for sanity and not for vanity.

4. I've been super busy with work, yet, making time to renew, recharge, and really regain perspective. Adopting a routine of rest is just wise for me. 

5. Once again, I am learning that "No" is a complete sentence.

6. I have been doing a lot of reflection. I believe that as I reflect on what was, I can inform what will be.

7. Investing in my health during this season was a great idea. 

Read More

What a Glam Morning Looks Like

Makeup from last night still on

Caffeine and Bible are a must have

Not a lot of people out yet

So glad I'm done! One long run to go.

Happy Yellow Day! My youngest was napping.

I'm certain people love cool stamps

Too early for my next appointment

My first fitting for my first Modeling Gig!

• What did your morning look like friend?

Read More

Housework, my way

Today I thought I'd take a personal moment and tell you about housework. I have been a pretty organized person. I think I stepped up a notch when I had kids. Motherhood brought about wonderful things and one of them was the need to be organized. Don't get me wrong, my files need to be organized, my desk needs to be cleaned (again) but I found the nice balance of being organized enough to find what I need when I need it.

My first goal is never to get overwhelmed. Freaking out is counter productive. I often head that way and that's when I say 'my life didn't used to be this way.' I repent for not doing what i know I should and I just take small steps. I bought an hour glass (I love those things) and I time myself. I say: I will clean my office for 1 hour. It's amazing the amount of work that it gets done. Small steps work. 

Another thing that seems to help with the kids closets is to simply finish what I start. I wash and immediately hang their clothes. No need for desperation, we can find clean clothes when we need them as well as diapers (no potty training has happened yet) and other supplies. Buying a caddy for the bathroom has helped me keep their grooming tools organized. It's the little things that make a huge difference when I'm trying to bathe, feed and nurture. 

When it comes to house cleaning, my theory is: if it doesn't get dirty, there's less need for me to clean. We use some rooms less than others, which makes cleaning easier. I don't follow a cleaning routine but what I try to do is that my house is 'guest ready' often. I am training the kids to pick up toys after they play and that's a lot of help. I try to have dishes under control and it seems that if I do, everything is much easier. They key here is to set a goal and finishing what I started. 

I am often asked how in the world I have time to take care of two kids 2 and under, blog, take care of a house and lead worship at church. The key is really to know what the priorities are. Progress, not perfection is my goal in this area of life. I need to point out that my husband helps me a lot as well. I am very thankful for Zeke. Our house doesn't look like it could be in the cover of Martha Stewart Living but it is a place of peace, love and it's 'livable.' I've had enough heartache freaking out about dishes that need to be done. I have decided to seek God, take care of family and work on progress and not perfection when it comes to this house. Finishing what I start seems to work for me. How do you balance your house work and your other duties?

Read More

Welcome Local Readers!

I have a story on my local newspaper today so I thought I'd take this opportunity to welcome my local readers by introducing myself and this blog. 

Who am I?

My name is Cintia, I am the {Christian} wife of a wonderful man (Zeke) and we have two children. LP was born 15 months before his sister Z Girl, to whom I gave birth at the end of July. My husband is a Worship Pastor in our community and an amazing father and musician. We will be married for 5 years next month. Zeke is a Mississippian, I'm Brazilian, we met in college. We got married here in the Mountains. The last time we went to Brazil was 3 years ago (thank God for Skype, right?).

I have a B.A. and M.A. in Journalism, so that's my trade. I'm currently a full-time mom who does contract work as an Event Planner, Social Media Expert, Photographer and Writer. 

About the Blog

I have been blogging for 5 years. I started this blog as a food diary and a place to talk about my (many) failures and successes with weight loss. I realized I am more than a number on the scale, so this blog became a place where I talk about the lessons I am learning as I walk with God on this earth. Some of the Topics Covered are:

• Raising bilingual children (my kids speak Portuguese and English)

• Small steps weight loss & fitness

• Reflections on the Bible 

• Life in Brazil 

• Being an ethnic minority living among the majority

• In-law relationships 

• Music 

• Praying with and for children 

I hope you subscribe to the blog and follow my journey. I have a great series on the works for January of 2011, so stay tuned! I'm also a video blogger, so look in the archives to see me in person (kind of!). You can also follow me on Twitter.

Welcome again to my blog. Leave a comment and let me know where in the world you are and how you found me. Have a blessed and productive day! 

Read More

Quem Eu Sou

  

Não há uma palavra que me defina apesar de me sentir singular. 

Sou esposa, mãe, filha, irmã, prima, cunhada, amiga fiel. 

Sou faladeira, fico na minha, faço festa e fico só.

Sou Brasileira, carioca da gema e nunca esqueço de onde vim

Apesar de lá não mais estar.

Sou cidadã do céu mas moro nesse mundo.

Sou mulher fenomenal, negra, latina, 

filha de Deus que me fez humana com um toque do céu. 

E você, já tentou se definir? 

Read More

Wife, Mother and Daughter

If I am no longer easy to reach

If you don't see my children as often as before

If we don't arrive in a timely manner

It is because I am enjoying motherhood to the utmost. 

Not only that, I am enjoying being with my own mother.

It's been a long 12 years since I had this much time with her.

There is something about motherhood that unite us.

I am allowing myself to have an awesome time being a mom and being with mom. 

I am not being rude for not being available

I know true friends are more than able to understand 

That every now and then I get to be all I ever wanted to be: 

a wife, a mother and a daughter.

Read More

The Nursing Dilemma

I decided to give breastfeeding a second chance without any false expectations. You'd think I learned something from my first experience in Breastfeeding... Here is what happened this time.

I didn't get to feed Z Girl til I went up to the my room. The nurse was really encouraging and supportive, so we worked on getting her to latch asap. Little sister girl has a great latch. The problem is that mamãe didn't have any liquid coming out to feed her. We tried the pump and nothing came out. A few hours later we got a little colostrum going.

I was so happy with her latch and her stools were good (meaning she was getting the nutrition she needed) so we never even needed to supplement. 

The first day we got home I kept breastfeeding as normal. We started supplementing the breastfeeding with formula because my milk had not came in after a few days. The baby was still latching but she was crying a lot  because she was hungry.

I was proactive this time. A few days before going to the hospital I started taking FenuGreek (natural supplement that helps milk production). A friend of mine let me borrow her electric pump and I was ready for my milk to come in. A week after the birth I had milk but I wasn't making a whole lot of it. What could have went wrong? I felt less stressed than the first time. I found support and talked to La Leche as well as the lactation consultant from the health department. My husband was supportive and so was my mom who nursed all 5 of us. All I was missing was milk.

At some point before week 2 I decided to cut down on the formula and go with breastmilk alone. My baby lost a lot of weight (which scared the doctor) so we had to keep supplementing with formula. The lactation consultant helped me to know how much milk Z Girl needed in order to gain the correct amount of weight for her age. To rush the milk production I got in another medication. The med costs a little over $80 locally and $38 online. I'm on day 2 and waiting to see if I make more milk that way. If you are wondering, I'm a believer in water so I drink lots of it. People speculate that c-sections cause people not to have milk. Two friends who had who had c-sections breastfed their babies successfully. I have all my basis covered, all we need is more milk.

I know I am not alone. I have a few friends who tried and couldn't make more than 2 oz so they went with formula. I know others who just said the thing hurts and they went with formula. I learned to respect everyone's choices. 

Sometimes I wonder how come breastfeeding works for some chicks but not for me. I heard stories of chicks who took the same meds as I did, prayed, believe it and received plenty milk. 

I heard stories of women who were overflowing with milk when they were in labor. Hearing those stories while I was first waiting for my milk to come made me feel less than, which sucked. It wasn't their fault, it was my own insecurity. 

I have different reasons to pursue nursing. My first one is for the connection between my children and I. I also want to nurse because you're supposed to burn a whole lot of calories while doing it. Selfish ain't it? 

It was hard to admit that this part of life is important to God once I spent time obsessing (there, I said it) over aspect of mothering. I obsessed about having a vaginal birth (didn't get one). I obsessed about breastfeeding and with my second child I didn't get the VBAC I dreamed of and on week 4 the rivers of milk are not here yet.

My husband was the one who reminded me last year that my nursing situation was not a surprise to God. He said I should get Him involved in it. 

I can't compare myself with the chicks who quote scripture and get so much milk they have to be faithful donors of a milk bank. We are all unique and special to God. 

What if God's best for me is feeding my baby Similac? Why should I let others intimidate me?

I also shouldn't be ashamed of my story because it has happened to other women around the world before.

I hope I can offer hope to someone who thinks you are less than a woman because your kid needs to be on formula. I am still trying to get this breastfeeding thing going but I gave myself a limit. Breast is best but better than that is God's unique plan for my kids. He's got it all under control: from what kind of milk they get to where they are going to College. Let's believe God more than we believe stats and old wives stories.

Nursing is not one of those things that are listed in the Bible as one of the requirements to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. I'm glad about that. On the long run breastfeeding matters but being a peace with God's plan for me as mother outweighs that. Regardless if I get to nurse full-time or not, I commit to look at my daughter and remember what's really important.

Read More

O Nascimento Parte 2: Recuperação

O primeiro dia não foi brincadeira. A cesária é uma operação grande. Apesar de se ter uma doce razão porque tive a cirurgia, precisa-se de tempo pra se recuperar. Eu já sabia o que esperar por causa da minha primeira experiência ano passado, mas você esquece da dor que faz parte dessa experiência de vida. Nas primeiras horas você só senta na cama com os remédios entrando direto nas suas veias. Eu pedi por remédio de dor, o que foi bom porque a área da operação ficou bem dormente com isso. 

Dessa vez quando os amigos vieram me visitar eu estava alerta. Ano passado eu estava tão cansada do trabalho de parto que caí no sono no meio de uma frase :)

Neném recém-nascido dorme muito mas eu ainda tive que cuidar muito dela. Eu queria amamentá-la, então assim que voltei pro meu quarto começamos a fazer isso. Ela pegou muito bem no seio, fiquei bem orgulhosa. As enfermeiras me disseram pra ficar mexendo minhas pernas então toda hora eu fazia isso. Ano passado levou um tempão pra eu sentir minhas pernas. Dessa vez consegui mexer meus dedos do pé um pouquinho quando saí da sala da operação. Mais tarde naquela noite as enfermeiras me ajudaram a levantar pra eu me acostumar e pra eu dar uma limpadinha básica (dar a luz é um evento feliz mas tem muita sujeira involvida. Não deixe as fotos felizes te enganarem). Senti MUITA dor quando levantei. Pra piorar senti que o quarto todo estava girando, então elas me disseram pra não olhar pro chão. A enfermeira me disse que eu podia dar 3 passos e escovar meus dentes se eu quisesse. Eu tentei mas desisti. Minhas pernas não podiam se mover muito porque eu estava cheia de dor. Eu disse pra ela que não queria dar uma de super herói, eu ia esperar até o dia seguinte pra andar. 

A lição que aprendi é que com tanta dor você precisa de ajuda na primeira noite no hospital. Eu não podia me mover facilmente, então seria bom ter alguém lá nem que fosse pra  me dar a bebê pra eu amamentar e cuidar dela. Eu tinha (tenho) o sentimento de que eu é que tinha que fazer tudo pra ela. É difícil de fazer isso se você não pode se mover muito por causa da dor. Graças a Deus que eu tive uma equipe maravilhosa de enfermeiras que me ajudaram muito naquela noite. Se vocês estão imaginando onde meu marido estava, ela estava em casa com nosso filho. Nossa família veio nos visitar 2 dias depois. 

No dia seguinte me senti como se fosse uma mulher nova. Não podia correr a São Silvestre mas estava andando devagar e tudo estava bem melhor. Mais amigos vieram me visitar e eles vieram na hora certa.

Outra lição aprendida: a melhor hora pra receber visitas é a noite porque de manhã tenho testes a fazer (sangue, etc) e os médicos vem nos ver (os meus e os da bebê). 

Mais cedo naquele dia a enfermeira me ajudou a tomar um banho de esponja (na verdade foi um paninho).

Eu me senti como se fosse uma pessoa normal. Ela falou pra me sentar perto da pia e pra eu lavar tudo o que podia acima da cintura e depois me levantar abaixo. Consegui lavar tudo sozinha. Me senti maravilhosa! No próximo dia tomei banho no chuveiro e tirei a gaze (?) pras enfermeiras examinarem a minha cicatriz. Estava tudo normal, graças a Deus. Antes de ir pra casa recebi instruções sobre o que fazer e o que não fazer. Não se pode dirigir por 2 semanas. Não se pode levantar nada (e ninguém) mais pesado do que minha bebêzinha. Não se pode fazer exercício. Pode-se tomar banho de chuveiro ou banheira. Pode-se continuar a tomar as vitaminas. As enfermeiras viram meu filho e observaram o nosso relacionamento. Elas disseram que a coisa mais difícil seria o fato de que não posso pegá-lo no colo. Uma delas disse que isso foi o mais difícil pra elas. 

A primeira noite em casa foi boa. Nós queríamos ir pra casa depois de 2 dias em vez de ficar 3 porque a nossa família ia vir pra visitar. A maioria só veio por 1 dia e meio. Minha mãe veio pra ficar por bastante tempo o que é uma bênção pra nossas vidas. Ela faz as coisas que não posso fazer, nos ajuda com o Pequeno Príncipe e nos dá muitos conselhos. O PP está andando (correndo) muito rápido e ele requere coisas e atividades diferentes do que a irmãzinha. Nós mantemos as atividades diárias dele como sempre foram. Depois vou escrevar mais sobre como os dois irmãos estão passando. Têm sido uma alegria de ver os dois. Apesar de não poder pegar ele no colo, eu dou comida pra ele e ganho bastante abraços.

Dessa vez coloquei uma cinta assim que cheguei em casa. As enfermeiras falaram que não era necessário mas faz a maior diferença. Dá pra notar como a minha barriga está bem menor. Além disso não fico com tanta vergonha quando o povo olha pra minha barriga - sempre olham quando sabem que você teve neném.

Leva tempo pra se recuperar da cesária mas com a ajuda de Deus chego lá. O importante é ter muita ajuda e apoio. Ano passado não tivemos nossa família aqui mas Deus proveu tudo através de irmãos em Cristo e amigos. Além da recuperação da cirurgia, você lida com outras coisas como amamentação, dor, cansasso... Todo mundo diz que eu preciso descansar e concordo. Todo mundo diz que não preciso me estressar e concordo. Estou aprendendo tudo de novo. A vida é assim e estou agradecida a Deus.

•••••••••••10 Dicas pra se recuperar da Cesária
* Consulte o seu médico, essa é a melhor dica de todas.
1 • Peça ajuda pra primeira noite no hospital. Quanto menos você se mover, melhor.
2 • Planeje o mês pós cirurgia. Quem vai limpar a casa? Quem vai cozinhar? 
3 • Peça ajuda diária pra levantar de filhos a cestas de roupa;
4 • Decida se alguém vai cozinhar pra você, se os amigos vão trazer comida (tradição aqui) ou se você vai congelar tudo antes. 
5 • Ponha uma cinta. Vai levantar sua moral se não levantar mais nada. 
6 • Tenha todas as coisas necesárias pra trocar fraldas prontinhas e perto de você. Se tiver dando mamadeira, tenha um sistema fácil.
7 • Beba bastante água. Sempre ajuda.
8 • Meu pé ficou inchado depois das duas operações. Não se preocupe, isso também passará. Descanse, ande dentro de casa... a inchação vai passar.
9 • Não ignore os seus sentimentos. Os hormônios ficam descontrolados então é bom ter alguém pra compartilhar esses sentimentos. Se a depressão for muito grande, peça ajuda imediatamente.
10 • Dê ao seu corpo o tempo necesário pra se recuperar. A maioria de nós não somos modelos que aparecemos com o corpo perfeito horas  depois do parto. Com o tempo e paciência as coisas voltam ao lugar.

Read More

Beauty Defined

Hair bows, cute shoes, purses... a girl can never have too many accessories. They were meant to enhance the way we look, not to make us beautiful. Having a daughter has made me think on issues of beauty. For a few years, my girl won't have an idea about beauty standards out there, she will just 'be.' Indeed she is beautiful. My daughter is the pure definition of beauty. I am so thankful to God for giving me the responsibility to be a stewart over her life! Making sure she has a healthy view of beauty is part of my awesome responsibility. 

As I walk away from my second gestation, I choose to believe there is true beauty involved the process. I say 'I choose to believe' although it doesn't feel like it some of the time. The people who compliment you on your pregnant looks are kind while having no clue about hemorrhoids, stretch marks, heart burn at 3 a.m. and exhaustion! Yeah, that belly looks nice but the body goes through major changes that affect the mind and the way I view myself. I choose to believe the harshness of these changes in my body adds to the beauty God has given me as a woman. Being imperfect in the eyes of the world draws me nearer to the way God wants me to be.


See, true beauty doesn't come in a container of anti-stretch marks cream. It comes from the inside. A great example of beauty in the Bible is mother Sarah. She was physically beautiful if you remember her story. I think she is now remembered not by her looks but by her 'hidden woman of the heart:'


"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do." I Peter 3:3-6 (NLT)


As a recap, Unfading Beauty comes from: 
• Trusting God
• Respecting your husband
• Having a gentle and quiet spirit
• Not being afraid 


Sarah was not called beautiful because she went to spinning class at 5 a.m. She was not called beautiful because she wore Ann Taylor and had beautiful hair. She cultivated a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God. I choose to believe there is strength and confidence in this gentle and quiet spirit we need to have. God help me.


True beauty comes from fearing the Lord. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. With the birth of my daughter I feel like I step up in a new level of responsibility when it comes to teaching my daughter the true meaning of beauty. I pray for wisdom to walk in true beauty as an example to my children.


"Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God." Proverbs 31:30 (The Message)

Please add dark circles to my list. Feeding the little princess at 1:30 a.m. and many times after will cause that. Add highly favored to my list. Being able to birth a daughter will cause that. 

*This is a picture of me burping my daughter. My husband put this flower in my hair. He keeps reminding me of how beautiful I am. I thank God for a man who appreciates me and loves who I have become.

Read More

Entrevista com a Lu Francesa

Lu Francesa é uma web designer que vive na França. Uma celebridade entre as blogueiras light, ela já apareceu na Folha de São Paulo, Revista Boa Forma, no livro Emagreci Fazendo um Blog entre outros. 

Essa é uma entrevista que fiz com perguntas sobre a experiência dela de Redução Alimentar além de outras curiosidades. 

O que muita gente não sabe é que ela é minha amiga de infância e a razão pela qual comecei esse blog. Obrigada amiga. Pra acompanhar a jornada de sucesso dela, veja: 

• Blog da Lu Francesa aqui

• Desafio Desistir Jamais aqui

SC • Quantos anos você tem o seu blog? Conte como resolveu começar.

Meu blog tem 6 anos e meio :) , eu já tinha um blog pessoal, quando conheci o blog de uma moça que fazia Vigilantes do peso e resolvi fazer um para mim tb.

SC • A sua história se tornou famosa no mundo inteiro através do seu blog. Me conte se isso te ajudou no processo da redução alimentar.

Com certeza ajudou, me incentivou e incentiva ainda hoje.

SC • Nos dê 3 dicas suas pra começar uma RA de sucesso.

Ter em mente que você é capaz, acreditar nisso, mesmo que pareça difícil, segundo, devemos começar com calma, diminuindo aos poucos e não ser radical e cortar tudo, terceiro, beber aguá, tentar consumir 2l d'água por dia.

SC • O que é o mais difícil: perder peso ou manter? Por quê?

Começar é difícil, depois se torna até "fácil", o mais complicado é manter, pq achamos que já estamos nos controle, que um diazinho que deixamos de nos controlar não fará mal, e as vezes isso se segue por muitos dias e ...já viu! E a motivação acaba sendo menor, já que não se tem mais o que emagrecer (ou quase nada).

SC • O fato de morar fora do Brasil dificulta ou facilita a sua RA? Explique.

Acho que não faz diferença, aqui tem tentações como no Brasil, tudo depende da nossa cabeça, da nossa motivação.

SC • O seu marido te apoia na sua RA? Quão importante é o apoio da sua família nesse processo?

Sim, se ele pode fazer algo para ajuda ele sempre o faz, como descascar legumes :D , é muito importante ter ajuda da família e das pessoas próximas a você.

SC • Sei que você começou sua RA com os Vigiliantes do Peso mas agora está usando um programa novo. Por que mudou? Explique a diferença.

Mudei pq precisava de algo novo e gostei do sistema de cadastro dos pontos no site deles, para mim anotar o que se come ajuda ter controle, o que é essencial para emagrecer e manter o peso. A diferença básica é que ao somar os pontos não é levado em consideração a quantidade de fibras como no VP.

SC • Quais são os 3 lugares do mundo que você sonha em conhecer?

Japão, Chile e Austrália (escolhi países não europeus)

SC • Qual foi o último livro que leu e recomenda?

Adeus China, o último bailarino de Mao, MUITO bom!

SC • Ofereça palavras de ânimo pra alguém que está começando a perder peso com saúde agora mas ainda tem muito a perder.

Não tenha pensamentos como : “Ah, eu sou fraca, não tenho força de vontade, não vou conseguir nada!” e jamais desista pq tropeçou uma, duas,três vezes... O importante são os progressos ao longo do tempo, mesmo que nem sempre eles apareçam na balança.

Desistir? JAMAIS!!!

Read More

Stretching Reality

I didn't get stretch marks til the very, very end of my first pregnancy. I was so surprised to see them cause the nurses in the clinic kept complimenting me for not having them. Well, this time around I'm starting and finishing the journey with them. 

It may seem silly but the first thought I had when I saw that population of stretch marks on my belly was 'I will never be able to wear a two piece again!' I had accomplished that dream when I was in Florida for a summer internship. I was in shape so I gave the two piece thing a try. I'm glad I have pictures to prove I was once able to do it. Oh, I also got a mean tan. Yes, Black people like me can tan. I prefer the beach to a booth tough. 

At this point you are probably thinking: 'stretch marks don't matter, what matters is the healthy baby' and I know all that to be true. The fact is, if you have them, chances are you don't love them. I asked my doctor about stretch mark creams and he told me 'those creams do not work.' True enough. I still kept using them just because my skin was extra dry in the winter. The stretch mark deal doesn't bother me so much that I'd spend thousands of dollars in treatment. 

Putting things in perspective, the healthy baby is the most important thing about  pregnancy, not the fact that I can have a photo with my children next to me on the beach and the girls are all wearing bikinis. Some things in life are inevitable and stretch marks during pregnancy are it for me. I'm glad I have a husband who loves me for who I am. I am glad my children can care less about the marks I carry in my body. They love me for me. 

I am starting to think that instead of depressing symbols of what I can't do, they should be badges I wear with pride. I paid the price to carry new life into the world and there is nothing wrong with looking normal. There's an extra person I am growing inside of me so I dare not look the same. Good for you, you NEVER get to see them :)

I commit to look in the mirror and think: someone special has been formed in your womb and your whole body stretched to accommodate new life, new hopes, possibilities and dreams. 

• How many of us want the good stuff in life but refuse to go through the stretching process that will bring out the new?

Read More

Blogger Conference Issues

I heard it takes a while to get used to the new realities of motherhood. It seems that now that I'm here, all comfy and waiting for one more blessing to be born, I am being challenged again. 

You see, for the first time I'm connecting with other bloggers in real life. The possibilities of these connections have been refreshing. There's a bloggers' conference coming near our area and I am wondering if I should go. If it's up to my husband, I'll be there with my bells on. I don't know why I keep thinking: 'Is it responsible to spend that much money on registration? I blog as a hobby, it's not that serious! What can I buy for that same amount of money?' This was the latest: 'Should I attend a Christian mom blog conference instead?' I can answer this one easily: A GREAT, HUGE NO. Why? The 'secular' conference offers more relevant information and a huge pool of speakers and participants who are more diverse. Sorry other conference, it's hard to attend a conference where I stick out like a sore thumb and it doesn't seem like people can relate to me.

Going to a bloggers' conference is something I never dreamed I'd do for myself. It gets me out of my cocoon, it challenges me to think much higher, long-term thoughts. It will be refreshing. I will get connected with other bloggers. I will learn more about the mom business, marketing, social media, etc. There's only so much I can learn by myself. Why not make an effort to go? Another advantage over the other bloggers conference is that I can just drive to the location daily, it's that close. If I really want to save money, there you have it. My baby girl will be young still, I have a feeling that I will want to be around the house even if it's just to smell her and LP a little bit every day. Don't you love smelling your children? 

You've seen several belly shots of mine, this is a whole body one my husband took last Sunday.   We are really excited about her approaching birth. God has blessed me a lot during this pregnancy. The side effects haven't lasted 9 months and for that I am thankful. We are still praying about the right name for our baby girl. I hope we don't have to wait til birth day to find a name. We do have 57 days to go.

I count myself as blessed. I am satisfied with where I am in life. I fought like a child on time out to stay put in one place but I am satisfied. I keep thinking about the future. I want to look back and smile when I think about this season in my children's lives. I want to know I had a major part in training them and teaching them things. I know I won't stay at home forever (I believe in the school system, I admire the talent of teachers) but while I have this experience, I want to be submerged in it. This I believe.

Read More

Just as I am

The day you feel the most beautiful can lead into the night you cry.

This awesome lady came up with Just as I am

Read More

Sweeter

There are things in life that are sweeter than tres leches cake.

Read more about 'Just as I am' here

Read More

Here is a...

Here’s a before & after photo of my dinning room table. This was my biggest project for this week and I thank God we are all done! It took me 3 years but we finally got rid of clutter. The secret to keeping things neat is the upkeep of all the paper that comes in the house daily.

Here’s a photo of me right before I went for a run/walk earlier this week. This week was a challenging one but we managed to get out there and do it. Today is raining and every good runner knows this is NO excuse. It’s actually good to train in the rain so that if it does run on race day, I’ll be ready and used to it. A sad thing that happened… we went to Target yesterday and I decided to buy a running shirt that would be breathable and would not weigh in with the sweat. I got the largest size (XL) available and did not try it before going how. The thing is so tight… I’m gonna return it and get my dinero back. I was so used to wearing everything on a Small or Medium that having tops that go beyond Extra L take a little getting used to. That’s when my thought process of being ‘in between pregnancies’ need to kick in. I’m focusing on health, not being an unhealthy size 0.

Here's a recent photo of the two of us. My son will be 4 months Saturday. Honestly, the first 3 months were a blur. If we didn’t take photos I honestly would not remember how little he was and the things he used to do. He’s oh so enjoyable this son of mine. He squirms with joy when I sing his morning song (or afternoon or evening). He’s enjoying bath time way more, the latest on that, he tries to grab this bath water and bite it. Time is flying by little one. Love is here to stay. An awesome weekend to everyone out there! Oh, let me know if you enjoyed the video blog!

Read More

When Bottle is Best

After giving birth my maternal instincts quickly switched to: ‘I gotta feed this child’ mode. I had a little colostrum but nothing more than a few drops worth. I pumped the little stuff I had and my child was still hungry so we started supplementing with formula. I tried to breastfeed but it’s hard when you don’t have any milk to give. I hear it’s normal for your milk to be delayed but in my case, it took a little over a week. My child had to eat, so we kept giving him formula and breastfeeding with the little I had. I felt bad every time because in my mind my milk was going to be running over. 

Breastfeeding was exhausting. I didn’t realize that besides recovering from major surgery you had to stay up all the time because the mom is the main (only) food provider. I had a pretty rigid pumping schedule as well but still, not that much liquid coming out. My baby would not latch on every time to make things even better. I remember looking at him late one night with tears in my eyes begging him to try to latch on once more. It had been hours since we had a successful feeding happening. I was at my breaking point.

My husband, who experienced so much with me, told me he thought I should pray about it because he didn’t feel like I felt released from breastfeeding. He was right on target. I heard a lot of Podcasts about breastfeeding while pregnant and never really considered any other options. I never really studied formula, what kinds were out there, etc. All I thought was that women who chose that option were punks. Was I mistaken big time. I felt better about using formula once I prayed. My mind was clear, I felt less stressed. 

My husband kept telling me that it was important to do what was best for our family. Bottle feeding works for us for so many reasons. My husband was able to help me with night feedings several times. That same night he stayed up with the baby and I literally passed out, never got up once because I was so tired! In the morning my shirt was wet, my milk finally came. Because I had already returned the hospital’s pump and stopped taking medication, we decided to accept a friend’s pump and feed the baby the little milk I was getting along with mostly formula. That’s what I’m still doing today.

During the time we were trying to breastfeed exclusively, I never heard stories of women who were bottle feeding but similar stories were popping up, one by one. I heard about feelings of inadequacy, insufficiency, just not being good enough. In my case, I had the feeling of not being a good woman because I could not birth my son naturally on top of everything else and couldn’t produce enough milk. When you are down like I was, it’s nice to hear stories from others who like me, simply made a choice that was better for their families. 

It’s a fact that breastmilk is great and little milk is better than no milk – my doctor told me that and I agree. I also learned that there’s no sin in bottlefeeding. The objective is to raise a healthy child.

When I do stop pumping I won’t be afraid of saying my child is bottlefed exclusively because there’s nothing wrong with it. Hunger is wrong. Seeing starving babies in Africa, that’s wrong. Those kids don’t have neither breast or bottle and that’s plain wrong. It’s nice to put things in perspective. 

I’m happy to say that my son is a strong baby who is growing, gaining weight and looking better as the seconds go by. 

I wanted to share my experience just in case someone out there is feeling less than because they can’t or choose not to breastfeed. I say do what’s best for your family and keep your head up. 

* It took me a while but I found a blog post about a proud mama who bottle feeds her child.

The picnic was fine. It was HOT outside, so besides the usual apprehension for having a newborn among so many people I had the heat to worry about. We stayed outside for a little bit watching daddy play with a jazz quartet and then we went in and chilled in the nursery. The baby was really hot, so staying inside mostly which was the best thing. I ate hamburger meat and a few sides. The most interesting was an Indian salad with curry, simply DELICIOUS! Last Sunday was the longest we stayed in church with baby ever. We used 4 diapers and had 3 bottles. We had our stroller which turned out to be a great decision. Welcome to mommyhood!!! Another sign of having a young baby at home: I totally forgot to brush my teeth. My husband asked me so politely when we got to the church if I forgot. Good thing I keep toothpast/toothbrush there in his office so we fixed that real quick. It’s funny but I forget major things that concern me like that sometimes. It’s all part of it and it’s just fine. 

Read More

Unattainable Beauty

"For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh" Philippians 3:3

A friend of mine asked a question on her blog that bothered me. She asked her readers what are the images that inspire them to lose weight. Something didn't feel right to me about that question because of my past and the redemption that Christ has brought in my life. An image was the root problem of my former weight issues. Unattainable beauty, inhuman shapes or waist lines that only 5% of the population in the world can attain were the causes for fluctuating pounds and years of mental attacks from the enemy. The self-help messages of loving myself and accepting myself did nothing for me until God showed me in His word what He said about me. It took years but I can say that I am free to love myself because He first loved me and created me the way He wants me to be. My short answer to her questions is Phil. 3:3, Christians put no confidence in the flesh. What kind of sense does it make to look at an image and say I want to be like you? God created me in His image, I ought to be like Him, the perfect one.

I haven't been in touch with many pregnant women on a daily basis – I'm quite alright with this. I hear that many feel fat, ugly, etc. Many say the hormones did this to them (the negative thoughts and talk) but I prayed and asked God to teach me how to distinguish heart issues from hormonal issues. The mouth speaks things that come from the heart. Even if people tell me I'm fat (trust me, I've heard that recently in church) because they assume most pregnant women think that's who they are, I don't accept these kinds of statements. I believe with all my heart that there's a time and a season for everything. God allowed me to be in a season where I lost 40 pounds and after gaining health and strength, He allowed me to be in a season where I am nurturing a son. The focus is to stay strong and have a healthy birth. The last thing I need to worry about is how I no longer have a waist line. The health of my son is way more important than that. After I'm done with the pregnancy phase, I'll be glad to work on my own body. I keep telling my husband how blessed I feel that God had a plan for my health and I accepted it. He transformed my mind in such a way that I love the way I look, pregnant or not. Do I feel this great every day? No. When I don't, I try to quickly find encouragement in the words of God about me. I challenge you to get your focus off top models, who are the last role models anyone needs in my opinion, and get your focus in a God who created you, loves you and meant for you to be an unique, creative and beautiful woman. You gotta know this for yourself sister, the media will never tell you that. Here are some articles I've written about image, one of them is my story, the others talk about images in the media, etc:

* The image - click here

Body awareness - click here

The weight of my Mind - click here

* My story :)

I also added my updated 6 month pregnant photo for yall. My little man is growing and kicking much stronger – how fun. Once we can venture out in the streets, sister girl and her little man are going to gym :) we gotta stay strong you know ;)

Read More

Delighted by Choice

Psalm 37:4 was the verse that was guiding me through the beginning of my married life. It was also the beginning of my search for health. I remember writing the whole Psalm here in the blog. Here’s a translation that’s awesome:
Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart.” (AMP)
What is delight?

Delight: a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture.
When you have delight in something or someone, your total attention is in it. Not only your attention but your heart. You find high pleasure, enjoyment, joy to the point of rapture. That’s how God wants us to feel about Him. He wants me to seek Him first thing in the morning, not my digital scale. He wants me to know of His love for me, not how much the scale says I weigh.
I suspect that delight is not selfish. You delight yourself in God out of love and wonder. You find completion in that love. God wants me to focus on Him, delight and be in awe of Him. When we are so focused on the One who first loved us, we tend to forget about things that used to fill our minds such as anxieties, problems and circumstances. Being in atmosphere of delight for our Creator brings about peace and satisfaction. I think most emphasis has been given to the second part of the verse where He will give you the desires of your heart. I need to make sure I don’t read this with selfish eyes. When we delight in God, He has our heart. The Almighty, All-knowing God knows our hearts because He searches and knows us. God is the only one who knows the secret petitions of our heart. He has pleasure in blessing His children. I believe that it’s up to be to be found in His presence in a stage of delight and total joy. I find that when I’m in His presence, He is more than enough for me. I find that He is all I really need but God is so good that He gives us the desires and secret petitions of our heart. What’s in your heart? Your needs, prayers and secret desires. My prayer is that my greatest desire is to be in the presence of God, in delight and wonder. God knows I desire to be healthy and I desire that my weight will be the weight He wants me to have. God knows my secret desires and He knows my wants. I pray to be delighted by choice. I pray to forget about myself and concentrate on a loving God who is Love.

Read More

The Root Cause for Weight Gain

“We’ve come a long way” is the title of a song a lady used to sing in my previous church. This title can describe my health journey. Thank God we’ve come a long way and we are more than conquerors!
This lovely weekend I took the time to look at the binder where I keep all of my articles, worksheets and other things I used on my weight management class and visits with a health educator.
It seems that a year ago I had problems eating a variety of foods and vegetables. I’m glad to announce this is not a problem anymore. By writing down a menu for the week as well as being drawn into different fruits and vegetables in the store, we have cut this problem down.
I also saw that I had tons of problems with stress. The Lord has blessed me with more knowledge as well as experience in this area that may affect life. Christians are to pursue peace, seek after it. I thought it was something that fell from the sky. Either I reduce or totally eliminate stress in healthy ways. Glory be to God for this lesson.
I’ve learned a lot. Most of the focus this past year is not on food. I think that was actually what hurt be in my 10 attempts to lose weight. Too much focus on food. When I have relationship problems I tend to walk to the kitchen. One time I stopped myself and said ‘what are you doing? You’re not even hungry!’ does this work every time? No. But thank God the awareness that food is not the solution is there.
I am aware that there is a danger in keeping total focus on food or exercise only. Stress may be the root cause for weight gain (I’ve written about developing a healthy root system here). Anxiety may be the cause for weight gain. Health problems may cause it. The holiday season gets blamed a lot for weight gain. Let me challenge you with the following: sometimes we try to eat our way out of boredom, awkwardness or avoidance when surrounded by family memories and old memories of the past.
An inanimate food (we hope the turkey will be completely dead on Thanksgiving LOL) does not call your name saying “Cintia! Eat me baby! You know you want my delicious thigh!” We are the ones drawn to illicit amounts of apple pie because the high given by sugar is supposed to numb the pain of rejection, not feeling accepted, not feeling supported or loved.
Stop accepting the lie and seek the truth. I had to seek the Truth and Jesus set me free. I didn’t like myself. I ate through anxiety, uncertainty, stress and you name it. My late night visits to Arby’s did help me gain the pounds but the root cause for weight gain wasn’t their grilled chicken combo with jalapeno poppers and sweet tea.
I’ve come a long way. God has held my hand and brought me this far by faith. I’m not the same person. God changed my mind first and it took at least 2 years for this to happen. It wasn’t until last year, after my mind was renewed to love the God kind of love that I was able to start my physical transformation.
It started on the mind. I no longer look in the mirror and see a fat woman. I see the righteousness of God in Christ, I see a beloved, beautiful daughter of God who has a purpose and an awesome destiny looking back at me.
It’s not all about food or a number of pounds. I’ve come a long way, leaning on the Lord because He is my source. I want to challenge you to pray for revelation of your root cause for weight gain.
Remember that God is ready to bring change in your life because He loves you for who you are.

Read More