Here Lies my VBAC

I came to terms with the death of my Vaginal Birth After Cesarian (VABC) dream. VABC was my goal after I had my first son. I was highly frustrated with having a c-section (I got over it tough). I never really read much about it, I was totally ready for a natural delivery and when it came to it, we opted to go on with the cesarian (read my birth story here) for safety reasons.

After baby was born, I was totally busy with the new challenges of motherhood such as trying to breastfeed, getting enough sleep, trying to lose weight... you name it. Once I found out I was pregnant for the second time I was so excited I wasn't really thinking about the delivery method. 

After going through my first appointment and getting the congratulations from the nursing staff, I saw my doctor. We talked about many things. He asked if I had any other questions, then he broke the news that I would have to have another cesarian because the hospital does not allow VBACs. This bomb almost took my joy away. I must confess I was frustrated with the news.

I made the decision to go on with my treatment at my clinic for many good reasons. I still had to make peace with God, with myself and with the reaction of others.

God has an awesome plan for me that includes peace from beginning to end. Peace with myself came when I got rid of expectations about what childbirth should be like. Most people have bad reactions when I say I'm having another c-section. I had to find strength and security in God and myself so that no matter what people say do not bother me. It's my body, my child, my decision. 

Just so you know where I stand:

• I still think that a natural birth is best. The issue is, some of us can't have it, therefore, cesarian is it. I believe that God gave wisdom to people in the medical field which can save many more lives with c-sections, which is awesome. 

• I can totally understand why some people want to schedule their c-sections. Some days I wish I could do that. I won't get to do that and I don't judge the people who have that option. Your body, your baby, you make your decision.

• I still secretly wish I get to the hospital at 10 cm dilated with a head almost coming out. Will it happen? Only God knows what my birth story will be like. 

• I'm at peace with not having a VBAC. I'm at peace and that will allow me to better enjoy being a mother for the second time. That's the greater blessing.

*** WebMD info on VBAC here.

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Meal Update and VBAC

Thanks for the feedback on the Balance post friends. I got some great tips. I will be establishing a rotating menu next week. To make things more exciting around here, every week we'll be having:

* the 'Tour of Italy'
* Latino Fiesta
* Vegetarian Night

The 'new' thing is that things are kind of back to normal. LP is acting like himself again. He's been sleeping full nights (glory!) and having lots of fun during the day. 

Time is flying by foreal. Next week I find out LB's gender. My husband want to do something similar to the Rodrigues' gender party. He wants to have a 'gender dinner' instead. I'm not sold on it, I'm too curious. What he proposes is to have the lady write it down so we can reveal it at dinner time. We usually take our cameras and film everything. I still want to do that. LP will see everything. Maybe I can get him to tell me LOL! 

After that fun visit, we're supposed to see the doctor who did my c-section. We see different persons in the practice because most people don't know who will be on call to deliver their baby. In my case, my doctor is supposed to do the c-section. 

I'm not sure if I have talked about this here. After I signed the contract I found out the hospital doesn't do VBACs. This fact seems to hurt other women way more than it bothers me. Most of them have had a c-section 30 years ago so there's no way to know about how differently they do things nowadays. I didn't want to go to a larger hospital just in case they look at me and say, 'sorry lady, you get a better looking room but we still have to give you a c-section.' The thought of being in labor for 30 miles other than 10 have always bothered me. I know everyone in the practice, as well as some of the nurses in the hospital. I have peace in my heart knowing that everything will be fine. I also know what to expect when it comes to recovering from a c-section. I have a friend who's due soon and wanted to have (could have) a VBAC. It wasn't until recently that she found out that just like the second baby this one is a bridge. Sometimes you don't know until the end. My goal is to have a healthy LB in my arms. Children are a joy.

These are my updates for now. I've had a decaff latte today (yes!), I'm waiting for a friend for lunch and I'm supposed to try to see another one this p.m. Let's see how the day unfolds. Hope you're having a marvelous day.

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